Britney: HEY Y'ALL! Look who I'm hanging out with!!!!
LiLo: Heh heh. Hey.
Britney: Betcha never thought you'd see the two of US together again, huh??
LiLo: Or at least, never see us together without fire raining from the sky, right??
Britney: But here we are!!
LiLo: Yep, the Two Weaveheads of the Apocalypse.
Britney: Blondes have more fun, YAY!
I can't believe I am writing about Britney Spears again either. Even more shocking is the fact that I am about to defend her.
You see, after Britney put on a shitty show in Germany her angry fans told a tabloid magazine that her concert wasn't worth the price of a ticket and that she was fat.
I believe the first part of that. While I will begrudgingly admit that some of the tunes Max Martin wrote for her were infuriatingly catchy, I think Spears is a pretty mediocre singer at best and what I've seen of her stage show on television bores the crap out of me.
But do I think she is fat?
Which one of you is e-mailing death threats to Britney Spears? I have a guess but I'm not just going to call you out right here on MamaPop.
Somebody somewhere has been e-mailing Brit Brit death threats. They are bothering her enough that she has decided not to take Sean Preston and Jayden James with her on the Circus tour when she goes to Russia.
Finally. Britney shows some signs of brain function when it comes to parenting.
Because really - who here wants to see their mom wearing this anyway?
Aw, Britney and Adnan. It has been so long since I wrote a Britney story. When I first started writing for MamaPop that seemed to be all I wrote.
Adnan Ghalib will stand trial for felony assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and hit-and-run stemming from an incident at Ghalib's apartment in which Ghalib allegedly tried to assault a process server by running into him. The process server was attempting to serve a restraining order obtained by Britney's father.
You people want celebrity gossip? How is this? Friends of Britney Spears are saying that she is hearing voices again and ex K-Fed says “Britney’s speaking gibberish baby talk.”
My favorite quote from Bitten and Bound is:
Another insider said that Spears is also obsessed with unicorns at the moment and truly believes that they are real and live in a zoo in New Zealand.
Dude.
And the world sighs because her agent's name is not Adnan Ghalib.
It's been reported than Britney is happily dating Jason Trawick, her agent (it's impossible for me to hear about a star's "agent" without thinking of Ari Gold), and the big revelation comes after a couple months of speculation. Although apparently I've been either not paying attention or just don't care enough to retain the information because this was the first I'd heard about the relationship or that Britney even had an agent.
While performing "Womanizer" at her Connecticut concert on Saturday night, a man rushed up, jumped on the stage, and made a beeline right towards Britney Spears.
In the video after the jump you can see that Spears adjusts her sunglasses to look down and is then visibly frightened by the man, shaking even, before her backup dancers descend and drag the guy offstage where he was promptly arrested.
Thus proving that Franz Ferdinand can make any song sound EXACTLY like Franz Ferdinand:
Someone should give them some death metal, see if they can Ferdinandize THAT.
Twas recorded for the BBC Live Lounge program. And sure, it's a bit messy in parts, but overall I deem it to be filled with gratuitous amounts o' win.
They say you can't buy love but you sure can buy getting out of it. In what may be the most expensive celebrity divorce ever, Britney and Kevin's cost $417,000 in LEGAL FESS ALONE. That does not include what she pays in spousal support and child support.
And all of her legal fees, for all of her cases, 2.7 million dollars.
I have the wrong clients, that is all I am saying.
Those hoping for a reunion between Britney and Adnan will have to wait a tad bit longer.
Britney's ex was forbidden to have any communication with her or get within 100 yards of her for the next three years, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Aviva K. Bobb ruled yesterday. Guess he will no longer be part of the paparazzi following her.
The orders also prevent Adnan from contacting Britney directly or indirectly through phone, mail or e-mail, as well as forbid him to claim that he represents her interests. Others protected by the order include Britney's parents, siblings and her children.
Adnan Ghalib, who is a member of the paparazzi but is more well known for being Bitney's ex-boyfriend, surrendered Wednesday to face felony charges for allegedly trying to
run over a process server. He pleaded innocent in a Van Nuys Superior
Court and was released on $110,000 bail.
Britney sure knows how to pick 'em.
According to gossip columns everywhere, Britney's upcoming Circus tour hangs in the balance, as she has reportedly threatened to cancel it if she can't bring Jayden and Sean-Preston with her. So what's the big deal? I mean, artists take their kids on the road all the time, especially when they're young. Well, take it up with KFed.
Britney's father and lawyer Andrew Wallet, who oversee her affairs as co-conservators, obtained restraining orders against her former manager, Sam Lutfi, her ex-boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, and a lawyer. They allege the three men "are now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship with utter disregard for Ms. Spears's health and well being."
Jamie Spears is alleging that Sam is attempting to contact Britney again, even though the original retraining order against him lapsed in July because they believed he was no longer a risk. Her cell phone records show numerous text messages from him and also from her former boyfriend, Adnan, who Jamie says is exploiting Britney for his own financial gain.
Raise your hand if you are shocked about that one.
Twitter is currently the target of a nuisance-y phishing hacking attack -- you get an email asking you to confirm your username and password via the link provided, and then BWA HA HA, the lulz, theyz happenz.
Valleywag is keeping a running list of the victims, which so far include Barack Obama, Facebook, a couple news anchors, the Huffington Post and Britney Spears.
Britney's camp, in particular, is PISSED. Someone's been fired over it (though there's conflicting info over who), and they've posted a job advertisement for a new social media manager...on a Harvard-only private job board:
While my fellow Mamapoppers were regaling you all week with their top picks of 2008 I sat at my computer paralyzed. I mean, coming up with a list conveys that in some way my opinion matters. Knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are going to be logging on and reading what rocked my world this year was just too daunting. So I procrastinated. And then I realized that you’re just here trying to get the latest scoop on Speidi and couldn’t give a monkey’s butt what I think. Then it became really easy to write.
So without further ado or numbers--
Britney’s Big Comeback
Britney has come a long way since January when she was getting regular rides from ambulance drivers and barred from seeing her children to finishing out the year with liberal visitation rights, snapping her body back into enviable shape and releasing her latest album “Circus.” Dare I say this Pop Princess deserves the title of Comeback Queen?
Former statutory difficulty Emma Watson ("Harry Potter and the Krumpnarch of Blotzflotz") recently told Camilla Long in The Times Online that under the right circumstances she'd be willing to go naked, or "get her kit off," as the English like to say. In the article, called "What Next for Emma Watson," she also told Long a bucketful of non-naked factoids about herself, her family, her hopes and dreams and probably the price of tritium of Mars, but absolutely nobody cares about that stuff. Because she said the word naked, out loud, and now that she's eighteen, all the creepazoids who masturbated to her preteen face and figure may now fondle themselves with impunity. Until they notice Elle Fanning or something.
The Britney Spears documentary aired last night and it was an intimate look at the mechanics behind one of the biggest pop stars in the world. However, it was very sad.
MAMAPOP IS SMART POP CULTURE ANALYSIS, COMMENTARY, MERCILESS FUN-MAKING AND OTHER SUNDRY AWESOME, DISHED UP DAILY BY PARENTS, FOR PARENTS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT PLAYTIME IS BETTER WITH VODKA. PLEASE TO ENJOY. READ MORE...
