MamaPop™

How Procrastination Gave me the Final Word on 2008

While my fellow Mamapoppers were regaling you all week with their top picks of 2008 I sat at my computer paralyzed. I mean, coming up with a list conveys that in some way my opinion matters. Knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are going to be logging on and reading what rocked my world this year was just too daunting. So I procrastinated. And then I realized that you’re just here trying to get the latest scoop on Speidi and couldn’t give a monkey’s butt what I think. Then it became really easy to write.

So without further ado or numbers--

Britney’s Big Comeback
Britney has come a long way since January when she was getting regular rides from ambulance drivers and barred from seeing her children to finishing out the year with liberal visitation rights, snapping her body back into enviable shape and releasing her latest album “Circus.” Dare I say this Pop Princess deserves the title of Comeback Queen?

Emma Watson Says the Word 'Naked' to a Reporter, People Go Nuts

Former statutory difficulty Emma Watson ("Harry Potter and the Krumpnarch of Blotzflotz") recently told Camilla Long in The Times Online that under the right circumstances she'd be willing to go naked, or "get her kit off," as the English like to say.  In the article, called "What Next for Emma Watson," she also told Long a bucketful of non-naked factoids about herself, her family, her hopes and dreams and probably the price of tritium of Mars, but absolutely nobody cares about that stuff.  Because she said the word naked, out loud, and now that she's eighteen, all the creepazoids who masturbated to her preteen face and figure may now fondle themselves with impunity. Until they notice Elle Fanning or something.

Britney Opens Up in New Documentary

The Britney Spears documentary aired last night and it was an intimate look at the mechanics behind one of the biggest pop stars in the world. However, it was very sad.

Britney's Comeback Performance

Britney Spears performed at Germany's Bambi Awards over the Thanksgiving holiday and redeemed herself after her notorious VMA performance.

Britney Spears Feels Old and Boring

I just got done reading this article by Alex Dobuzinskis about how Britney Spears is saying she feels old and boring.

At 26.

*Sarah rolls her eyes like crazy*

Let us pretend for just a moment that I wasn't 10 years older that Britney. AND I AM NOT OLD DAMMIT!

Ahem.

Does that picture look old or boring? She may not be in as good of shape as she was when she was 18, but who of us is? She had two children, let's cut her some slack for that. Honestly she still looks way better than I would in a sequined bikini and fishnets.

Britney Spears' Son Rushed to Hospital After Seizure

Britney Spears youngest son, two-year-old Jayden James, was rushed to Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center, after suffering seizures.

Madonna to Bring Britney and Justin Together Onstage Tonight?

*UPDATED BELOW!

BE STILL MY HEART.

Metro Dick Clark, a.k.a. Ryan Seacrest, announced on his radio station yesterday morning that he "has got word" that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will appear onstage together to Madonna's show tonight at Dodger Stadium. Justin will moonwalk, Madonna will do that weird move where she bends her knees and fans her legs like butterfly wings, and Britney will slurp down a Starbucks' frapp.

Britney Spears Unveils New Album Cover

Ok. Let's focus on the positive.

I like the stars?

Britney Spears' Conservatorship Extended Indefinitely

The court extended Britney's father as conservator forever.  Does that mean he can still ground her?

Britney did not object to the move.  "I've met several times with [Britney] and she requested that I not object to the permanent conservatorship," her court-appointed lawyer Samuel Ingham said in open court.  Commissioner Reva Goetz stated that the permanent conservatorship was "necessary and appropriate." She said she was granting the permanent conservatorship in part because Britney Spears has shown she is "susceptible to undue influence."

Jury Deliberations Continue in Britney Spears Traffic Case

Jury deliberation will continue today in Britney's driving without a license case.  The jury deliberated for 2 hours on Friday and then broke for the weekend.  2 hours?  Did she have a license?  What's the hold up?

The prosecution claims that Britney should have had a valid California license since "every significant occurrence of Britney Spears's life has occurred in Los Angeles."  "She is a California resident."  The defense argued her valid Louisiana license should be good enough.

Britney Spears to Stand Trial in Driving Case

Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote about Britney Spears.

Britney rejected a plea offer of a year's probation and a $150 fine and is prepared to go to trial in her driving without a license case.  Um sorry, was she driving without a license?  What is this trial going to consist of?  "Ms. Spears, did you have a license?"  "Um, no?"  "Were you driving?"  "Um, yes?"  "I rest my case your honor."  Take the plea, honey.  $150 and a year of probation is nothing compared to what you have been through.

Photo in Search of a Caption: Britney Spears

Something a little different today in Caption Land: Judging from this handful of screencaps from Britney's new video Womanizer, take your best guess at the video's "plot."

(Click to embiggen)

(Source)

Britney Spears will indeed release a new album this year -- on her 27th birthday, December 2nd.

The new album is called "Circus." The first single will be a song called "Womanizer." Which...I feel like the jokes should write themselves here. And yet...I have nothing. I am oddly void and empty and...it's like I NO LONGER CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST.

OMG YOU GUYS. Check this out -- new video of Britney rehearsing what may very well be her comeback performance this weekend:

Video: Britney's Back!

Honestly? I for one hope she's going to do it, and I hope this is a glimpse into what that'll look like. And I hope she wipes the floor with everyfuckingone.

VMAs live blogging Sunday night, anyone?

 

YOU GUYS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

It means that Britney and Justin are going to get married and have babies, wear matching denim outfits again, and live happily ever after because he's forgiven her for ever cheating on him with that halfwit backup dancer as he's seen just how much she has suffered and punished herself for her mistake! He's gonna be all [in falsetto] "Britney girl, I know you cried me a river and everything but I'm back girl, and you're my lady." And Britney will cover him with Cheeto kisses.

Before we introduce the newest member of the "I'm a Homewrecker and Proud, Where's My 15 Minutes of Fame?" club, can I ask a question? Is it Louisiana law for its women to wear unfortunate tavern-hoochie dresses with cowboy boots?  Seriously. Does this woman think she's being clever in contrasting an ironically virginal-white slip with a pair of boots purchased at a place probably called Slim's Boot Warehouse? Sweet hell, is her hair FROSTED?

Britney Spears has, in my opinion, definitely toned down The Crazy since her father was granted control of her financial and personal affairs. Gone (but never forgotten) are the days when Britney graced the covers of multiple gossip mags in various states of undress week after week. With the waters surrounding Britney remaining relatively calm for the last six months or so, it apparently seemed like the perfect time to release Lynne Spears' -- Britney's mom -- tell-all memoir.

Mark Your Calendars: New Britney Spears Album a'Comin'

Britney Spears will indeed release a new album this year -- on her 27th birthday, December 2nd.

The new album is called "Circus." The first single will be a song called "Womanizer." Which...I feel like the jokes should write themselves here. And yet...I have nothing. I am oddly void and empty and...it's like I NO LONGER CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Britney Spears To Open VMAs Sunday With Comeback Performance?

OMG YOU GUYS. Check this out -- new video of Britney rehearsing what may very well be her comeback performance this weekend:

Video: Britney's Back!

Honestly? I for one hope she's going to do it, and I hope this is a glimpse into what that'll look like. And I hope she wipes the floor with everyfuckingone.

VMAs live blogging Sunday night, anyone?

 

YOU GUYS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

It means that Britney and Justin are going to get married and have babies, wear matching denim outfits again, and live happily ever after because he's forgiven her for ever cheating on him with that halfwit backup dancer as he's seen just how much she has suffered and punished herself for her mistake! He's gonna be all [in falsetto] "Britney girl, I know you cried me a river and everything but I'm back girl, and you're my lady." And Britney will cover him with Cheeto kisses.

Before we introduce the newest member of the "I'm a Homewrecker and Proud, Where's My 15 Minutes of Fame?" club, can I ask a question? Is it Louisiana law for its women to wear unfortunate tavern-hoochie dresses with cowboy boots?  Seriously. Does this woman think she's being clever in contrasting an ironically virginal-white slip with a pair of boots purchased at a place probably called Slim's Boot Warehouse? Sweet hell, is her hair FROSTED?

Britney Spears has, in my opinion, definitely toned down The Crazy since her father was granted control of her financial and personal affairs. Gone (but never forgotten) are the days when Britney graced the covers of multiple gossip mags in various states of undress week after week. With the waters surrounding Britney remaining relatively calm for the last six months or so, it apparently seemed like the perfect time to release Lynne Spears' -- Britney's mom -- tell-all memoir.

Britney and Justin to Record a Duet

 

YOU GUYS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

It means that Britney and Justin are going to get married and have babies, wear matching denim outfits again, and live happily ever after because he's forgiven her for ever cheating on him with that halfwit backup dancer as he's seen just how much she has suffered and punished herself for her mistake! He's gonna be all [in falsetto] "Britney girl, I know you cried me a river and everything but I'm back girl, and you're my lady." And Britney will cover him with Cheeto kisses.

Jamie Lynn Spears Betrayed

Before we introduce the newest member of the "I'm a Homewrecker and Proud, Where's My 15 Minutes of Fame?" club, can I ask a question? Is it Louisiana law for its women to wear unfortunate tavern-hoochie dresses with cowboy boots?  Seriously. Does this woman think she's being clever in contrasting an ironically virginal-white slip with a pair of boots purchased at a place probably called Slim's Boot Warehouse? Sweet hell, is her hair FROSTED?

Mark Your Calendars for Lynne Spears' Tell-All Book

Britney Spears has, in my opinion, definitely toned down The Crazy since her father was granted control of her financial and personal affairs. Gone (but never forgotten) are the days when Britney graced the covers of multiple gossip mags in various states of undress week after week. With the waters surrounding Britney remaining relatively calm for the last six months or so, it apparently seemed like the perfect time to release Lynne Spears' -- Britney's mom -- tell-all memoir.