Celebrities

May 16, 2008: George Clooney is Nuts. In a Good Way!
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Film , Movies
Now that Cannes is up and running the marketplace is revving up, too. Good news for George Clooney as the star is slated to do a new comedy that wins title of the year: Men Who Stare at Goats. According to Variety, the picture "is an adaptation of British journalist Jon Ronson's book about the...

May 15, 2008: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: No Mo
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
They were such a lovely couple, too! I know I'm not the first person to make the "no mo" joke. But it makes me giggle, alright?

May 15, 2008: Cannes Robs Los Angeles of Promotional A-List Faces
Comments: 1 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , Film , Movies
I feel a little sorry for any celebrity trying to make the scene in L.A. right now. Trying to launch your new flagship store? Sorry, all the A-list actors are at this little film festival in the south of France, maybe you've heard of it? "God, I need a cigarette."

May 14, 2008: How Many Times Can We Title A Post Like This 'Oops She Did It Again?'
Comments: 3 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celebrities
You know, before it becomes unbearably old? Because seriously? It seems like - with the exception of those stories about her guest-starring appearances on HIMYM, and that one time recently that she showed up at family court, on time, without a Frappuccino in hand (which, really, seems more evidence of a rip in the space-time...

May 14, 2008: Tori Spelling Might Join New 90210 Cast
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , TV
Tori Spelling might join the cast of the new Beverly Hills, 90210. If she does, she will join fellow 90210 alum Jennie Garth, who recently signed on to make special guest appearances as a guidance counselor at West Beverly Hills High School.

May 14, 2008: Drew Barrymore: Vigilante Traffic Angel
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
So Drew Barrymore was in a car accident on Monday, which, you know, sucks for her, because car accidents, even minor ones, are really no fun. It was just a rear-ender fender bender, so nobody was hurt, but still. Sucks. The crazy part, though? The person who hit her didn't stick around to see whether...

May 13, 2008: I Fear the Coming Canadian Angst
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities , Music
I blabbed the other day about Scarlett Johansson's recent engagement to Ryan Reynolds. What I did not know at the time was that the story is a little juicier than I thought.

May 13, 2008: Love And Marriage: Go Together Like Emo Music And Eyeliner
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb News , Celebrities
According to "reliable sources" - which we all know can mean anything from someone's publicist to someone's uncle's cousin to the latte-jockey at the local Starbucks - Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married this weekend.

May 13, 2008: Harrison Ford Takes a Moment to Collect Himself
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Film , Movies
Harrison Ford was caught shopping in L.A. yesterday. I'm surprised he doesn't get his own action figures for free. Maybe he needed extra for that big Well of Souls diorama he's building in the basement with his son, Liam. He looks good, though, huh? Sixty-five is the new fifty. ANYWAY, did you hear about the...

May 13, 2008: Sarah Jessica Parker Redefines Eco-Fashion By Wearing A Shrub On Her Head
Comments: 17 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , WTF?
This is a good look, I especially like the moss trim across her bust. I wonder if any insect life made itself at home in there. Because, you know, those butterflies in the shrubbery that's growing out of her hatpiece sure look comfortable.

May 12, 2008: Brad Pitt Tattoo Mystery Solved AGAIN
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
Here's Brad Pitt getting on a helicopter. Normally that would be enough, right? But this time he seems to have rolled up his shirt so that the man behind him can check out the -- what the hell is that on his back? At first I thought it looked like lacerations. But I was wrong...

May 12, 2008: From The WTF Files: Beyonce Pimps Up Kindergarten
Comments: 20 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , WTF?
When that whole Miley Cyrus 'Oh Hai I Can Has Sheets'/Vanity Fair photo controversy spilled out onto the internets, I was pretty skeeved by the whole thing. Not because omg she showed her back omg, but because the picture in question was pretty clearly intended to evoke an explicitly Lolita-ish mood: the tousled hair, the...

May 9, 2008: I See London, I See France, I See Natasha Richardson's Underpants
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
See? This is why you should always a) be up to date on your bikini waxes, and b) be prudent in your choice of foundation garments when venturing into public in anything other than high-cut trousers in a reliable fabric.

May 9, 2008: Hi-Diddly-Ho, Matt Damon
Comments: 13 | Categories: Celebrities , Movies , Photo Op
Much like Brad Pitt and his 80s hair, Matt Damon proves that he can fully rock the Ned Flanders look and still be awfully damn dreamy.

May 9, 2008: What the Hell, Eva Mendes?
Comments: 13 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , Print , WTF?
And what the hell to you, too, Italian Vogue! The European fashion sensibility, it's just different somehow . . . More photos after the jump, moderately safe for work (which means lots of thigh but no nipples).

May 8, 2008: I'm Still Mildly Obsessed with the Anna Nicole "Biopic"
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Movies
I gushed about the Anna Nicole "movie" before and at the time, Amber commented, "OMG. I hope it's straight to video so that I can get tanked and watch this while providing obnoxious commentary without fear of being thrown out of a theater." Dude, even better, it looks like the movie's going straight to bit...

May 8, 2008: Star Jones on Barbara Walters and the Sad Day
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Kelly told you about Barbara Walters's Tuesday appearance on Oprah, during which she talked a bunch of smack about everyone on Earth, or at least on The View. Yesterday, Star Jones dished it back via Us Magazine.

May 8, 2008: And Then, The Internet Imploded: TomCruise.com
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Internet , WTF?
I am so not even kidding about this: Tom Cruise has launched his own website. It's about as flashy as a website can get, with all sorts of creepy pictures of Tom with video of his movies running in the background and - depending upon which page you end up at - the theme to...

May 8, 2008: Celebrity Lookalikes, William and Harry Edition
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
All of a sudden Prince Harry looks exactly like a young Albert Brooks. I'm serious. Wouldn't it be great if Harry left the military and started directing himself in neurotic comedies? I loved Defending Your Life. The question is, which celebrity does William look like? My choice after the jump.

May 7, 2008: Signs Of The Apocalypse: The Paris Hilton Doll For Kids
Comments: 11 | Categories: Celebrities
After reading that headline, are you still upright and conscious? Here, let me give you a moment to collect yourself, take some deep breaths and what not. (whistles) Better? Okay, let's do this. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1... Wait, why are you hyperventilating? ARE YOU OKAY?

May 7, 2008: The MTV Movie Awards: Keeping Cinematic Standards High Since 1992
Comments: 2 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities
The MTV Movie Award nominees for this year have been announced, and, as expected, it's a line-up that, for the most part, seems to have been selected by an elite group of thirteen-year olds and a handful of college students (mostly engineering majors, I'm guessing, with a smattering of random Arts students thrown in for...

May 7, 2008: Barbara Walters Does Not Give a Flying...
Comments: 2 | Categories: Books , Celebrities
I'm not a gigantic fan of Barbara Walters. Her celebrity interviews were always so kiss-ass. And I'm not really a fan of celebrity memoirs, either. But I might have to pick up Baba Wawa's Audition. Because girlfriend is 78 and at this point she really does not care whether or not she ruffles some feathers....

May 7, 2008: Amy Winehouse Amassing Ever More Friends in High Places
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music
Amy Winehouse has some well-known admirers and well-wishers, as we've reported. Keith Richards fretted over her. Bryan Adams invited her over and wrote a song about her. But her latest famous friend is the awesomest yet.

May 7, 2008: Posh Pregnant? Please
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
So this is apparently a hot rumor over in the UK, where I don't think that they've actually seen Victoria Beckham in, like, forever. Because seriously? Unless that woman is only four days pregnant, it seems doubtful to me that one can be any kind of pregnant other than pregnant in the just-got-seeded sense with...

May 6, 2008: Scarlett Johansson Engaged; My Husband Mourns
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities
Just in case you haven't heard the big news yet, Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Ryan Reynolds.

May 6, 2008: Signs & Wonders: Britney Makes it to Court
Comments: 3 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celeb Legal Woes , Celeb News , Celebrities
It's a first -- Britney Spears has officially arrived at court today to ask for more visitation. No drama, no circling the block, no courtroom bailouts. She's there with her mom, her dad and her lawyer. Even more shocking, she is reportedly NOT WEARING SUNGLASSES.

May 6, 2008: Costume Institute Gala Brings Out the Stars
Comments: 11 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute had its yearly gala last night. Does everyone go inside and have a somber moment in front of a display of Marie Antoinette's wigs, or do they step right up to the bar to recover from all the posing they had to do on the way in? "Darling?"...

May 6, 2008: Because Shoes Would Just Get In The Way Of Couch-Jump Training, Right Tom?
Comments: 21 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , WTF?
Okay, so, first of all: we all know that Suri Cruise is an adorable little girl who is in no way responsible for the batshit craziness of her father. Second of all: it seems perfectly clear that, even if Katie Holmes was impregnated by turkey baster after a partial lobotomy, her diminished capacities of self-determination...

May 6, 2008: Angela Kinsey Welcomes Baby Girl
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Angela Kinsey - who (do I need to tell you this? really?) plays Dwight Schrute's sometime unrequited love interest on The Office - has given birth to a baby girl. She delivered a week early - which, can I say? LUCKY - and she and baby are said to be doing fine.

May 5, 2008: Celebumom Fashion
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , Fashion
You know what I wanted to do when I was pregnant and big as a house, seven long years ago? I wanted to sit around and watch my ankles swell, but mostly I didn't want to wear eighteen yards of fabric that made me look like Orson Welles. And yet that seems to be what...

May 5, 2008: Nobody Puts Baby on the Inside Flap: 14 Years of Vanity Fair's Hollywood Covers
Comments: 2 | Categories: Bullcrap , Celebrities , Fashion , Print
The folks at ohnotheydidnt put together a nice retrospective of Annie Leibowitz's cover photos for Vanity Fair's annual Hollywood issue. 14 years, 14 photos, nine of which banish anyone of color to the fair-right fold-out flaps, while the actual magazine cover features nothing but the gleaming white folks. Only four covers actually feature a black...

May 5, 2008: Tom Cruise Manages To Keep His Feet Off The Couch
Comments: 10 | Categories: Bullcrap , Celebrities , Talk Shows
We were all too busy watching Oprah's interview with Tom Cruise to actually write anything about it on Friday. And then, you know, we were kinda exhausted from the immense amount of mental energy that it took to watch that shiz and actually pay attention and pretend that Tom Cruise is an actual human being...

May 5, 2008: Britney: Setting The Bar Low Enough That We Can All Just Skip Right Over It. In Flip-Flops.
Comments: 10 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celebrities
You gotta love Britney for her determination to be - all issues of trainwreckiness completely aside - as totally ordinary as anybody that you might see wandering the aisles of your local Target. You really do. Because she does it with such gusto. I mean, here she is, getting into a private jet, after an...

May 2, 2008: Madonna: Four Minutes To Say Stupid Things About Teen Sexuality
Comments: 10 | Categories: Bullcrap , Celebrities
If it seems like every celebrity in existence and their handlers have lined up to comment on the OMG Miley Cyrus Took Her Shirt Off! scandal, it's because they have. Everyone from Jamie Lee Curtis - waxing parental at the Huffington Post - to Heidi Montag - waxing stupid everywhere - has had something to...

May 2, 2008: Mariah Carey: Yep. She IS Married.
Comments: 16 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
It was still just a rumor yesterday, but now, we haz confirmashun: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon really did get married this week. His auntie - or somebody being described as a 'family member' - says so.

May 1, 2008: Mariah's Ring a Re-Gift?
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities
We murmured yesterday that rumors are afoot about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon possibly being engaged. If it's true, there's reason to believe that the proposal wasn't the classiest thing ever. I know, weird, right? That something involving Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon wouldn't be the pinnacle of good taste?

May 1, 2008: Angelina Single-Handedly Topples The Sex Tape Trend
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
This just in: there's a rumor brewing that - get this - Angelina Jolie was caught on tape doing drugs, way back in her youth. That's right. Angie did drugs. Are you as shocked as I am? I mean, I knew that she was maybe cutting herself and wearing vials of blood around her neck,...

April 30, 2008: Julianne Moore Probably Hates Pam Anderson, Too
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Pamela Anderson released a press statement the other day, informing everyone that she is - for the first time as an American citizen! (Ameri-cuh: F*CK YAH!) - marching on Washington to protest animal testing. She just wants us all to know, y'know, so that we can all contemplate the horrific effects of animal testing and...

April 30, 2008: Julianne Moore: Most Celebrity Do-Gooders Are Attention-Grubbing Famewhores
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
*uncomfortable coughing* Wow. So somebody - somebody famous - finally stepped up and said it.

April 29, 2008: Vanity Fair Stands Behind Miley Cyrus Photos
Comments: 20 | Categories: Celebrities
In case you missed it, there was quite a hub-bub yesterday over the photos of Miley Cyrus that appear in the June 2008 issue of Vanity Fair. In the photos, Miley appears topless-ish: she holds a loose piece of fabric over her chest as she works the camera. Miley issued an apology, there was plenty...

April 29, 2008: Dear Khia, Please STOP
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
I beg you, America begs you, and your caps lock key begs you. (It also says to tell you that it is not, contrary to what you may have heard on the internets, cruise control for cool.) What the hell I'm talking about may be found after the jump, along with spoilers if you're not...

April 29, 2008: Simply Red, Baby
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , Music
Remember the band Simply Red? No? Okay, you are so not as old as me. (You can catch up after the jump. Know ur 80's pop musik, peeples!) For those of you who are as old as me, or who are, simply, die-hard British alterna-pop fans who also maybe watch Family Guy, well, you might...

April 28, 2008: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at the White House Correspondents Dinner
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
People has this very nice picture of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, who attended the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday. Frankly, the bangs frighten me.

April 28, 2008: Miley Cyrus Topless; Disney Missing Annette Funicello BAD
Comments: 26 | Categories: Celebrities
I dunno, this seems to me like - how would you describe it? - a bad judgment call. Let's say that you're a 15 year old Disney star, with legions of tween fans who follow your every move with tweenish devotion and with the only semi-ambivalent approval of their parents (because, hey, even though it's...

April 28, 2008: This Is How Fairy Tales Die: On Divorce Court, With Disgruntled 70's Sitcom Stars
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Reality TV
Ah, young love. So fleeting, so fickle, so ripe for exploitation on reality television. I had such high, high hopes for Gary Coleman and his Brobdingnaggian bride, and what was so obviously their true, true love. That that love should end up shattered and scattered across the soundstage of Divorce Court, well... let's just say...

April 25, 2008: Set Your TiVos & Get Ready to Cringe: Tom Cruise is Returning to Oprah
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Talk Shows
Hide your women! Plastic-wrap your couches! Tom Cruise is coming back to Oprah, possibly to announce his casting as the monster in Cloverfield 2.

April 25, 2008: Gwyneth Hides Pet Tarantulas In Shoes, Declares, "I Want to Be Carried Everywhere!"
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
Gwyneth Paltrow has been rocking the sky-high heels lately. Sources say she actually enjoys needing people to help her walk. "It's a trust exercise," she says. "It's about letting go and knowing that the universe will support me." It sounds like one too many stay-at-home afternoons watching Oprah have finally gone to Mrs. Martin's head,...

April 25, 2008: Brad Pitt Proves That If You're Hot Enough, Even 80's Hair Can't Hurt You
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Granted, if Brad Pitt, as pictured here in a still from his new movie Burn After Reading, were just walking down the street as some ordinary guy, I'd probably say to myself, hey, that guy looks a lot like Brad Pitt! Shame about the hair! but, you know, looking at him as Brad Pitt I...

April 24, 2008: Remember That Scene In Independence Day? When Aliens Nuked The White House? Well...
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Politics , WTF?
I think that we can safely say that the decline of Western civilization is complete - to say nothing of the arrival of the Apocalypse, which I think we've already established - when a D-list 'personality' of the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt variety (I'm not even going to say 'celebrity' in the context of Heidi or...

April 24, 2008: From the "Where Have They Been?" Files: It's Helen Hunt!
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
At Monday's Then She Found Me premier, director Helen Hunt gutsily stepped out onto the red carpet in a cantilevered satin undergarment designed for someone half her age. "Even though my breasts are asleep, my navel's popped out to say hi, and I am so very, very tired, I am still rocking this dress," said...

April 24, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, And...?
Comments: 11 | Categories: Celebrities , Photo In Search Of A Caption
Winner! missbanshee: Six Degrees! Kevin Bacon was in "Balto" with Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins was in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" with Pluto. Pluto has a Kevin Bacon number of 2. And a big honorable mention/first-runner-up to Baileyswedishfish: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ snork sniff snork sniff sniff Bacon! BACON! I smell Bacooonnnnnnnnn! Where's the Bacon??? Gimme some BACON!!!!!!!!!!! BaconBaconBacooooonnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!...

April 23, 2008: Nicole Kidman Actually Looking Pregnant Now
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
dlisted has some pictures of Nicole Kidman speaking at the UN ("who UN-Nazi-ed the world!") yesterday and she's actually looking decently pregnant now.

April 23, 2008: Just What The World Needs: More Celebrity Concept Albums
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , WTF?
I have nothing against Scarlett Johansson. I loved Ghost World. I liked Lost In Translation, too, although that really had more to do with Bill Murray than with Scarlett herself, who was, if you ask me, a little on the dull side. I have no intention of seeing The Other Boleyn Girl, but that's more...

April 22, 2008: Jessica Simpson Helps Tony Romo Celebrate His Birthday
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
You know what's weird? I was starving up until a few minutes ago and now suddenly my appetite is completely gone.

April 22, 2008: Lindsay Lohan Ready to Throw Down Over Sam Ronson
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb News , Celebrities
Pop quiz! Who prompted Linsday Lohan to scream, "Get your...ass away from my girlfriend"? over the weekend? The answer (and the full quote) after the jump.

April 22, 2008: Mariah Carey: Don't Violate Me, Baby
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities
Mariah Carey thinks that maybe she doesn't want to have kids. Which, fine. No one is obligated to have children, and frankly, I don't know that the world would really be all that much worse off if Mariah didn't procreate. At least the world's supply of diamante binkies and glitter-stamped onesies wouldn't be at risk...

April 22, 2008: Ali Lohan Hurtles Toward Point of No Return
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh dear, little Ali Lohan is nearing the celebrity tipping point, at which time all interested Americans will be invited to tune into E! and judge how well she stands up against her hurricane of a stage mother, Dina, on their new reality show, Living Lohan. Does anyone watch these things anymore? I though Ozzie...

April 22, 2008: Liz Hurley: PhotoShop Me, Baby!
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
Liz Hurley says that she likes being PhotoShopped, and no, that's not a euphemism for anything really interesting, it's just her way of saying that if there's some way of looking skinnier without diet or exercise, hell yeah she's into that. Which, you know, you kinda have commend her for. Her honesty, that is. I...

April 21, 2008: I'm Really Not Sure What to Make of Weston Cage
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Nicolas Cage's 17-year-old son Weston is ready to strike out on his own as a Goth superstar

April 21, 2008: The Reason You Read Gossip Blogs: To See Brad Pitt's Underwear
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Also, to see his delightfully Brad-Pitty rear end perched on a custom chopper. (The undies? They're Fruit-of-the-Loom. Really.) (Picture after the jump. Totally SFW, which is kinda unfortunate, but whatever. You could make it your screensaver!)

April 21, 2008: From The OMG SO SHOCKING Files: Heidi Montag's Clothing Line Sucks
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , Horror , Merciless Killing Machines , WTF?
I would have noted, in the title of this post, that the very fact that Heidi Montag has a clothing line is cold hard evidence that the Apocalypse has arrived, but I think that I've been crying too loud on the whole Apocalypse thing and I'm starting to worry that you all are going stop...

April 18, 2008: Still More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Spencer and Heidi Pitching Reality Show
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Reality TV , TV , WTF?
Had you asked me yesterday which celebrity I thought should most NOT get their own reality TV show, I would have said Britney Spears. Because, you know, been there, hated that, and also, please, can't we just let her try to detrainwreckify herself on her own? Doesn't filming the trainwreck just make it all the...

April 18, 2008: Tom And Katie: Are They On, Are They Off, Or Has Someone's Cyborg Wiring Just Shorted?
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
Here's some shocking news for your Friday morning: Tom Cruise is denying that he and Katie are splitting up! But let's do the math: we reported the rumor on April 7, on the same day that the rumor hit the internet, or - let's be modest here - at least within a 24-hour period of...

April 17, 2008: Because When Your Kid Asks, 'What's Botox Mommy?', You Need To Have An Answer
Comments: 8 | Categories: Boobs , Bullcrap , Celebrities , Kids , WTF?
I don't whether to laugh or cry at this: a children's book is going to be released on Mother's Day to help plastically surgered moms explain to their kids why Mommy's boobies got so big and round and her nose so small all of sudden. No, really. Seriously. It'll give whole new meaning to the...

April 17, 2008: Evan Rachel Wood's Beauty Secret: "My Boyfriend Drinks My Blood!"
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , WTF?
I understand that Evan Rachel Wood is only 20 years old and not everyone has developed a solid identity at that age, but holy mustache bleach, is Marilyn Manson slowly draining all the blood from her body when she's asleep? I've heard of emotional vampires but this is ridiculous. Photos of Evan's amazing transformation into...

April 16, 2008: David Beckham's Got Mighty Big (EYE)Balls
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
This really kinda isn't fair, I know: dude's just taking in a little sports action and, like any red-blooded male creature, finds his eye a-wanderin' to the brightly-colored and tightly-garbed rear-end of a nearby girly-girl. Could happen to anyone, couldn't it?

April 16, 2008: From The TMI Files: Keith Richards Admits Snorting Dad's Ashes
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , WTF?
I liked this story more when it was Keith DENYING that he snorted his dead dad's ashes. Now that he's admitted it, I'm just skeeved. I mean, I know that he has bad-assery down to a finely honed art, but snorting your dead father's remains? For realz? That's not bad-ass. That's just gross. His detailed...

April 16, 2008: Amy Winehouse Shows Baby How It's Done
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , Photo Op , WTF?
I dunno. I plan to make sure that my baby's in a sling or carrier before doing shots. You know, so that he doesn't drop when my arms go slack from extreme drunkenness. That would suck.

April 15, 2008: Rob Lowe: Still Creepy After All These Years
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities
I'm not sure what it is about Rob Lowe. I think he's attractive and I thought he was hilarious in Wayne's World and Austin Powers, but I never quite got over the icky feeling after his sex tape scandal in 1988, in which he did the dirty-dirty with a 16-year-old girl. Okay, sure, maybe he...

April 15, 2008: Nicole Kidman is Gestating Polly Pocket
Comments: 19 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Nicole Kidman confirmed her pregnancy the first week of January and is supposedly due in July, which means she's around six months pregnant in this photo (taken at the Country Music Awards last night). This is, no lie, exactly how I looked at six minutes pregnant. Minus the killer dress, and I don't believe my...

April 15, 2008: Robert Downey Jr., Just Another Schmuck in a Minivan
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
Even an art-house-loving, blockbuster-carrying individual such as Robert Downey, Jr. is plagued by the poxiness of being the father of a teenage boy who's just about old enough to realize that his dad is SO EMBARRASSING. The Scottish Daily Mail has a chatty interview with the Iron Man/Hulk/Tropic Thunder star and it seems pretty clear...

April 15, 2008: Ashlee & Pete: First Love, Then Marriage, Then Baby Carriage... Or Vice-Versa?
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are - according to Us Magazine - going to have a little Fall Out boy. Or girl. I suppose that at the moment it's just a Fall Out Fetus (which sounds disturbing, I know, but definitely edgier than Fall Out Boy, which, when you think about it, is really a...

April 14, 2008: Et Tu, Adnan?*
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Adnan Ghalib - ex-creepy-boyfriend of Britney Spears - was, reportedly, attacked and stabbed over the weekend. Which, if true, is really a shame, because nobody - not even a man with a soul patch, really - deserves that.

April 11, 2008: Doogie Not Down With Stunt-Casting
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , TV
Britney Spears' two minutes of screen time attracted one million extra viewers to How I Met Your Mother, but Neil Patrick Harris doesn't think it's a worthwhile trade.

April 11, 2008: Tina Fey: RED HOT
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Tina Fey, she so pretty.

April 10, 2008: More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Kathy Griffin Goes Public With Adnan Ghalib
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
Ummm... I don't even know what to say about this. Kathy Griffin and Adnan Ghalib (Britney's ex-paparazzo-boyfriend) were spotted shopping together at Victoria's Secret. Picking out underwear and coyly brushing fingertips and basically, you know, being kinda canoodly. Which, um, duuurrrr, what? For really? WHY?

April 10, 2008: George Clooney Hates The Internets
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
This, my friends, is heartbreaking: George Clooney thinks that the Internet is a bad place filled with pathetic, angry people. And all this time I thought that for sure he was an avid MamaPop reader and struggling mightily to prevent himself from falling madly in love with me, just on the basis of my magnificent...

April 10, 2008: Radcliffe Makes Nude Broadway Debut
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Pop Britannia
The Huffington Post reports that Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is now old enough to take off his invisibility cloak and bare his googlie-mooglies when he brings the play Equus to Broadway in September. Dreams do come true! Actually, for my dream to really come true there'd be room for Ron Weasley in that barn...

April 9, 2008: Unbreak Her Heart: Toni Braxton Hospitalized
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities
I wouldn't ordinarily consider this kind of thing particularly newsworthy - celeb feels unwell, celeb goes to hospital, celeb's rep says that celeb is 'doing fine' - except that a) it's Toni Braxton, and I used to groove on Toni Braxton, once upon a time sometime way back in the mid-nineties, for, like, five minutes,...

April 9, 2008: Oprah: "What's Wrong with You, Bird? Stop Singing, Dammit!"
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
Oprah Winfrey is an ardent admirer of Maya Angelou's work so she, of course, hosted some celebrations for the author's 80th birthday over the weekend. Page Six reports that she had a caged parrot as decor in reference to Angelou's classic book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Uh...

April 9, 2008: Johnny Depp Is Officially Almost As Nice As Jesus
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
Note that I said almost. I wouldn't want to be, you know, heretical or anything, and anyway, I highly doubt that Johnny would die for our sins. (Turn water into wine, maybe, but only as Capt. Jack Sparrow, which sorta doesn't count and, also, turning water into wine is only self-sacrificial if one doesn't drink...

April 8, 2008: Olsens Display One of the Unknown Side Effects of Not Having a Childhood
Comments: 12 | Categories: Celebrities
dlisted gives us this gem. It's a picture of one of the Olsen twins arriving for a wedding over the weekend. Supposedly, the twins didn't want to be photographed, hence the masks. I'm guessing that someone told them that the masks were invisibility cloaks but of course the problem there is that THIS IS EARTH...

April 8, 2008: Disturbing Celebrity Quote Of The Week
Comments: 23 | Categories: Celebrities
Which celebrity, do you suppose, dropped this stomach-unsettling sound bite: "It's amazing how your stomach goes ‘boop' (after giving birth) and it's this jiggly mass. I EVEN PLAY with my little leftover belly." ("PLAY WITH MY LITTLE LEFTOVER BELLY?" I can has shudders?) (Caps and italics and bolding and all highlighty bizniss mine.)

April 8, 2008: Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities
I'm just going to admit this right upfront: I have not clicked through to see the unblotted version of these pictures. I'm just not up for it. So, there's a very slim possibility that what those little circles are blotting out is a giant pair of granny panties. If you are very, very brave and/or...

April 7, 2008: Dane Cook Officially Has No Redeeming Qualities
Comments: 16 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities
An abridged list of offenses: 1) Dane Cook is not funny. 2) Dane Cook steals jokes from other, funny comedians and waters them down to fit his special, frat boy, Jager Bomb brand of humor. 3) Dane Cook does not pick up his dog's doo-doo.

April 7, 2008: Dina Lohan Is...Well, Still Being Dina Lohan
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Horror
Ohhhhhhh so THIS is a tad head-explode-y. Dina Lohan is like, SO TOTALLY CONCERNED about the negative tabloid attention her 14-year-old daughter Ali is getting these days. Because even though courting the tabs SO TOTALLY WORKED for Lindsay, apparently it's "scary" this time. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to...

April 7, 2008: Posh Sucks
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh, seriously? SERIOUSLY?

April 7, 2008: Tom Leaving Katie, Preparing To Announce Search For Replacement Starlet-Stepford Wife
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Apparently, OK! Magazine is about to report that Tom Cruise is going to leave Katie Holmes and take Suri with him. Which, I'll only believe when they release the Scientology video announcing that Katie is a body-Thetan-infested tool of Xenu. Because really? Tom Cruise might be batshit crazy, but he's not stupid. He's got enough...

April 6, 2008: Charlton Heston, 1924 - 2008
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities , News , RIP
The AP reports that Charlton Heston died Saturday night. He was 84. I wasn't a fan but...rest in peace, dude.

April 5, 2008: Mr. and Mrs. Jay-Hova!
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities , Music
Forget Brangelina, the hottest newlyweds are Beyonce and Jay-Z. People reports that the musical power couple tied the knot last night.

April 4, 2008: NKOTB Appears on Today Show in April to Tell You to Watch Today Show in May
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music , Pop Culture , Talk Shows , TV , Video
This is almost as bad as that time someone told me Joey like, totally had a girlfriend. Don't toy with me, McIntyre! So NKOTB did indeed appear on the Today Show this morning to officially announce their reunion album and tour and the date for their first live performance since 1994. And that date? Was...

April 4, 2008: Matthew McConaughey: Will Die For Sex
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
Matthew McConaughey says that he wants to die after having sex.

April 4, 2008: Robin Williams: Ewww
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
I don't want to be labelled ageist or misandrist or heightist or hirsutist, but I'm going to risk it here: why, for the love of Garp, would any woman want to sleep with Robin Williams? Seriously. I mean, he's a squat, hairy (really hairy) little man who has been having a mid-life crisis since, like,...

April 3, 2008: Attention Addict Thrilled For New Excuse To Be On More Magazine Covers
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , Print
I know, which one of 500 celebrities could I be talking about? My goodness, it's Madonna! Bursting out of her own biceps after too many early-morning pushups. I mean, flexing her enormous ego on the covers of Elle, Elle UK, Vanity Fair, and Interview leading up to the release of her new album, Hard Candy,...

April 2, 2008: Rick Schroeder's Son Is the Latest Victim of Spray Tan
Comments: 13 | Categories: Celebrities
Rick Schroeder has some good genes and I will happily admit to having a crush on him back in the Silver Spoons days. And I'm happy to report that he has passed those good genes along to his four children. So, with all of those good genes bouncing around, why in the hell did Rick...

April 2, 2008: Sean Levert's Jailhouse Death Confusing at Best
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music
Sean Levert, a member of 80s R&B trio LeVert, brother of Gerald Levert and son of Eddie Levert of the O'Jays, died over the weekend in a Cleveland hospital after arriving there from his jail cell. He was only 39 years old.

April 1, 2008: Stalker Shows Up at John Cusack's House
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities
Emily Leatherman, shown above left looking totally bizarre, showed up at John Cusack's house on Sunday, despite a restraining order that says she's not supposed to do that.

April 1, 2008: Jennifer Aniston On Crack
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
So, you know, I suppose that I could have saved this picture for one of our Photo In Search Of A Caption features, but really? There is just too much that can and should be said about this picture and I really wanted to sort that shiz out for myself. The butt crack: yes, it...

March 31, 2008: Lara Flynn Boyle What What What?
Comments: 15 | Categories: Celebrities , Horror
According to numerous quasi-reputable sources, this is indeed a photo of Lara Flynn Boyle: In case you need your memory refreshed, this is what Lara Flynn Boyle used to look like:

March 31, 2008: Brangelina (Non-)Wedding Update
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
Star has yet to officially fully retract their story about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's alleged nuptials, presumably since there hasn't yet been an official, "hell naw" from either the couple or their reps. They should probably stop holding their breath since I don't think Angelina has "officially" announced her pregnancy and, um, I'm pretty...

March 31, 2008: Mischa Barton Wears Short-Shorts
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities
Memo to the world: women of all ages and body types get cellulite. It is not just the domain of the heavy-set or the old or the bearers of children or Britney Spears or those living in the Red states. It can be found upon the thighs and derrieres of twenty-somethings, of women who have...

March 31, 2008: Jessica Simpson: If Brangelina Can Do It...
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
... so can she. Get married, that is. What? You're not up on this weekend's trends? EVERYBODY got married, or pretended to, or let people believe that they did because, hellz, that's some good publicity right there. Brad and Angie did it, apparently, and what's good enough for Brad and Angie is good enough for...

March 29, 2008: Holy Crap! Mr. and Mrs. Brangelina!
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Holy crap, you guys. Star is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married today in New Orleans. Now, it is Star and apparently no other source is reporting this as of 10:18 p.m., so take this with a grain of salt. However, if it turns out to be true...squee! Watch this space for...

March 28, 2008: Britney Spears: the Choice of Kids & Stage Parents Everywhere
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
So just in case the thought of seeing Jack Black slimed in green goo is not enough to make you tune into Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards tomorrow night, how about an appearance by the legendary Miss Britney Spears? Rumors are swirling that since her two whole minutes of screen time on How I Met Your...

March 28, 2008: Why, George? WHY?
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh, George. We thought that you could do no wrong. We thought that when it came to masculine classiness and movie-idol-throwback cool, you could do no wrong. We thought you were the shiz, George, we really did. And then you went and put on that hat.

March 27, 2008: Heidi Montag Seeks Look-alikes, Is Feminist Hero (asl*(%#LKDF(@#$#!)
Comments: 14 | Categories: Celebrities
Not content to just continue to assault us with her "music," Us Magazine reports that Heidi Montag has put out a call for look-alikes to model her new clothing line, Heidiwood (no, seriously, that's what she's calling it and I'll bet you two bits that Spencer came up with that name because he's so totally...

March 27, 2008: Tyra, Leaving ANTM? Noooooooo.....!!!!
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , Reality TV , WTF?
TYRA BANKS LEAVING AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL? (*head explodes*) Seriously. How could such a thing even be possible? There is no ANTM without Tyra. There's no fierce, no smile with your eyes, no work it, no that's not very modelesque, no that's a little too hoochy mama, no I have in my hands six pictures,...

March 27, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Comments: 21 | Categories: Celebrities , Photo In Search Of A Caption
Have at him it. Best caption for this photo gets the shoutses outs, end o' day! WINNAH: Georgia, with "Testicles. Spectacles. Wallet. Watch." Just 'cause the word testicles? Gets me every time. (Honorable mentions to EVERYONE. I was laughing ALL DAY)

March 27, 2008: Carly Smithson Pregnant?
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Music
I know, it's like totally gossip rag stock-in-trade to post a picture of a celeb or semi-celeb or whomever in a loose-fitting outfit or with a hint of pooch and shout OMG SHE'S PREGNANT but still. If the tent-dress fits... So Carly Smithson - that chick who is SO being set up to win American...

March 26, 2008: If Hilary And Obama Had A Baby...
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities , Politics
... the universe would implode. Also, that baby would - according to the New Republic - grow up to look like this: Which, incidentally, is exactly what the love child of Ellen Degeneres and Survivor "Favorite" Ozzy Lusth would look like, but that's beside the point. My apologies if this image gives you nightmares. All...

March 26, 2008: Heather Mills Will Not Go Gently Into that Good Night
Comments: 16 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities , News
The Daily Mail reports that Heather Mills hired forensic accountants to prove that ex-husband Paul McCartney is, in fact, worth over $1 billion, not the paltry $800 million that Paul claimed during their divorce. Of course, the more pressing question here is...what the hell is that mess that Heather is wearing in this picture?

March 26, 2008: Paris Hilton Respects Her Elders
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
Oops, did I say elders? I meant alders. She respects alders - those small birch trees with the catkin flowers. She respects those. Because, like, they're like totally pretty and also isn't it, like, totally HOT to love trees? Elders, though? Elders can suck it. They're for carrying your luggage. Source

March 25, 2008: Britney Gets Vocal Help, an Amoeba Is the Only One Actually Surprised by this "News"
Comments: 5 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celebrities , Music
dlisted has a juicy little story about an interview that Henry Rollins gave to Sun Media recently in which he states that he's heard from some sound engineers that Britney Spears' vocals are mixed with those of someone who can actually sing. In other news, the sun came out this morning.

March 25, 2008: Priscilla Presley's Face Was Injected With Auto Lube
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celeb News , Celebrities , Humor
Consider this post to be your PSA of the day, ladies: If one of your friends hosts an "injection party" where an unlicensed doctor from Argentina offers to pump your face with an illegal, non-FDA approved "miracle injection" he smuggled into the country for the bargain price of $500 a shot, claim you left your...

March 25, 2008: Miley Cyrus Dances For Jesus
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
If you are not a twelve-year old girl, or perhaps do not live on the planet Earth, you might have been missing out on what Miley Cyrus has been up to lately, other than changing her name to Miley Ray and posting skanky pictures of herself on MySpace and generally forging ahead with her plans...

March 25, 2008: Spring is Here, Screw the Birds: Mr. Big is Wearing Shorts!
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
The weather in Los Angeles has been lovely enough for Sex and the City's Chris Noth (here with longtime girlfriend Tara Wilson) to show some leg. It's my new favorite sign of spring! Okay, maybe not everyone's into 54-year-old man gams, but Chris Noth is sexy and if you deny it I'll have to beat...

March 25, 2008: Heidi Montag's New "Single" That Claims To Be "Music"
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music , Reality TV
Wait -- is it 1988 and not 2008? I ask only because if one were using Heidi Montag's latest musical abomination, "No More," as a means by which to gage one's location on the space-time continuum, I'm thinking the 80s might be a fine guess. And I say that cruelly, mockingly, and with visible disdain...

March 24, 2008: RIP: Jason Rae, Husband of Singer Corinne Bailey Rae
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , News , RIP
Very sad news out of England: People reports that saxophonist Jason Rae, the husband of soul singer Corinne Bailey Rae, was found dead in an apartment in Leeds on Saturday afternoon. He was 31.

March 24, 2008: Dear Ethan Hawke: Reality Bites
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities
I've never liked Ethan Hawke. He has the scruffy, watery-eyed look of a guy who doesn't think that women deserve the courtesy of his cleanliness because, you know, he's an artist and he's special and, hey, so what if he doesn't shower or keep his hands off other women? His artistic soul, it yearns to...

March 24, 2008: First Signs Of Spring, Or Harbingers Of Mutant Evil?
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Photo Op , WTF?
Up here in the wild, frozen north, we Canadians look to the emergence of certain wildlife, as these take their first, tentative steps out from their winter hideaways to frolic and procreate in the melting snow, for evidence of spring. Are the snows behind us? Are the vast ice caps of downtown Toronto receding? Can...

March 21, 2008: J-Lo Drops Baby Weight In 3 Weeks; Catherine's Head Explodes
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , WTF?
I know. I'm starting to sound like a ranty broken record on the issue of celebrities and their facking baby-weight issues (weight not lost within one month? it's an issue!), but still. Stories like this one keep feeding my frenzy: (From the National Ledger, yesterday) "Jennifer Lopez's little babies make their million dollar debut today...

March 20, 2008: Kristin Davis goes both Up and Downtown.
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
There are at least 20 Kristin Davis photos making the rounds and TMZ is reporting that there is in fact no sex tape, just racy pics which were taken in 1992 by a dinkus ex-boyfriend who sold them for some serious dollars. The photos have now found themselves in the hands of a third party...

March 20, 2008: Ashley Dupre Is a Girls Gone Wild Alum
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , Horror , News
Just when you think the Eliot Spitzer/Ashley Dupre scandal couldn't get any sleazier, Joe Francis gets involved.

March 20, 2008: Bryan Adams is Joining the "Straighten Up, Amy" Choir.
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
What an unlikely pairing; I didn't realize these two were all BFF, did you?

March 20, 2008: Brangelina: Expecting One Of Each
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
So, Brad and Angie haven't even announced the pregnancy yet, let alone confirmed the rumors of twins - not that there's any doubt, what with the unusually flowy maternity wear and all - but the gossipnets have already moved on to the genders of the Brangefetuses. Word is, it's a boy! AND, also! It's a...

March 19, 2008: Memo To Daily Mail: You Suck
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities
The UK's Daily Mail has - and I am shocked that this was even possible - sunk even lower into the morass of shit-sucking misogynist bottom-feeders than did those asshats who made fun of Jennifer Love Hewitt's non-size-zero body not too long ago, by mocking pictures of Britney Spears' legs and expressing disgust over the...

March 19, 2008: Mariah Carey: Kind of the Bomb
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , Video
Mariah Carey's upcoming album, the awesomely-Einsteiny-titled E=MC2, won't drop until April 15th. But the first single, "Touch My Body," will most likely become her 18th #1 single. Hmm, who else had 18 #1 singles? Let me think.... Oh! That would be the freaking BEATLES!

March 19, 2008: Halle Names Her Baby
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb News , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Introducing... Nahla Ariela Aubry! As celebrity baby names go, it's pretty straightforward. 'Nahla', apparently, means 'drink of water' in Arabic, which is a little more poetic that 'Pilot Inspektor,' which means 'My Dad Watched Too Many Cartoons In The Seventies' in American English, or 'Moxie Crimefighter,' which means exactly the same thing, but in Canadian....

March 18, 2008: Adam Carolla: Same Jackass, New Outfit
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , TV
On last night's Dancing With the Stars, Adam Carolla called Carrie Ann Inaba a bitch for giving him the low score of 5 after he butchered the foxtrot. Now, I'm not going to get all sensitive and whiny PC feminist because he did seem to be joking and I know any kind of female indignation...

March 18, 2008: Amy Winehouse: Living Undead Among Us?
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
Okay. So. I just read this weird story about Amy Winehouse buying a sunbed. Which, you know, that's odd. Like, WHY? Isn't tanning sort of contrary to her pasty-white working class British 60s girl group member shtick? Or at least a little out of character? Yeah, I thought so too. But that's not what this...

March 18, 2008: Attention Ladies of the World: Please Stay Away from Adnan Ghalib
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities
I have yet to hear a single compelling reason why paparazzo/professional hanger-on/boner-pill aficionado Adnan Ghalib is able to get so much tail, but yet another one of his conquests has come forward to talk about how he broke her heart (and oh yeah, to peddle his relationship with Britney Spears) and once again, it's all...

March 18, 2008: Is That Couture Maternity?
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , Fashion
Angelina Jolie, never one to shirk with the grooming, apparently grabbed one of her rejected Oscars gowns out of the closet on the way out to take the kids to 7-11 for Icees and Doritos. Maddox, Zaharia, and Shlioh probably aren't allowed to spend all their pocket money on M&Ms the way I did, but...

March 18, 2008: Is Madonna Is Or Is She Ain't Divorcing Guy Ritchie?
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Music
Sometimes the gossip gods move too quickly for me. I had just wrapped my around the story that Madonna was preparing divorce proceedings against Guy Ritchie, to take effect 18 months hence (which, okay, not in itself confounding, but that 18 month proviso? Weird), when, bam, the word is out that no way are they...

March 17, 2008: Britney Noshes with Mel Gibson
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
"Nom nom nom." Well, it's not quite as random as it sounds, but Celebitchy reports that Britney and Mr. Sugartits were members of a group dinner at a Russian restaurant in Studio City on Saturday night.

March 17, 2008: HULK NOT HAPPY ABOUT REPORT FROM PAGE SIX
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Film , Merciless Killing Machines , Movies
HULK NOT HAPPY ABOUT REPORT FROM NEW YORK POST GOSSIP COLUMN SAYING EDWARD NORTON BEING DIFFICULT CONTROL FREAK DURING POST-PRODUCTION OF NEW HULK MOVIE! UH-OH, NORTON TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE YOU! DUCK!! HULK PREVIOUSLY SUPPORT NORTON AS EXCELLENT CHOICE TO PLAY BRUCE BANNER IN UPCOMING SUMMER HULK BLOCKBUSTER. NORTON WRITE, PRODUCE, AND ACT IN MOVIE. THAT...

March 17, 2008: More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: 90210 Returns, Tori Spelling Asks For Role As MILF
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Reality TV , TV
I don't mind so much that they're doing a spin-off of Beverly Hills 90210, even if it is (perhaps because it is) destined to be entirely craptastic in every way. It's just, you know, you can't go back with these things. 90210 was brilliant in its time (OMG is there any North American woman out...

March 14, 2008: Michelle Williams Photos in British Vogue
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
God, she looks so pretty. Taken just days before Heath Ledger died. Although the dress is a little too Laura Ingalls Wilder Now Works At A Whorehouse for me. Six more pictures after the jump!

March 14, 2008: Eddie Murphy: Beverly Hills Skeezbag
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
This, I think, is the very nadir of masculine asshattery: Eddie Murphy says that he'll continue to refuse to see the daughter that he conceived with Spice Girl Mel B because - get this - she tricked him into making that baby. I'm sorry - whose penis was it that found its way into that...

March 13, 2008: I Am Writing This Through Tears of Horror and Outrage
Comments: 11 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Horror , Print , Reality TV
I am seriously outraged in a very non-faux way, y'all. Most appalling news ever after the jump.

March 13, 2008: Aw, Matzah!
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
Adam Sandler pulled his English bulldog, Matzah Ball, out of the surf yesterday during the filming of something or other on the beach in Santa Monica. Matz! Don't you know bulldogs sink?! Fortunately, Sandler averted tragedy and snatched his sidekick from the briney depths. Hooray! And just in case you never saw it, after the...

March 13, 2008: Tyra Reveals To The World That Models Really Are Just Pretty Hunks Of Meat
Comments: 12 | Categories: Celebrities , Reality TV
I would like to thank the latest episode of America's Next Top Model for introducing me - in the middle of a disturbing segment in which the models dressed themselves in sides of beef and brandished meat hooks - to the phrase BEEF PANTIES. If I weren't already pretty close to completely vegetarian, I would...

March 12, 2008: Patricia Heaton Freaks Me Out
Comments: 18 | Categories: Celebrities
The always tasteful TMZ posted these pictures of former Everybody Loves Raymond star Patricia Heaton displaying her apparent lack of a bellybutton.

March 12, 2008: Xtina: Skinny With Tits, To Go
Comments: 15 | Categories: Boobs , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , WTF?
Okay, so. First: I think that it's great that Christina Aguilera is breastfeeding. GREAT. Awesome. And I also think that it's great that she's plugging breastfeeding, talking it up and really being all pro-titty about the whole thing. Because, you know, the cause of titties serving their natural purpose is one that everyone should totally...

March 10, 2008: Punk'd Amongst Us
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
That little post I did Thursday that I thought was so clever, about Paris Hilton's new fake guru? I got it half right (the guy was a fake), but I still got punked. Ms. Hilton was in put up to the whole thing by Ashton "Chicken Legs" Kutcher. Kutcher's new series, Pop Fiction, is a...

March 10, 2008: Photo In Search of a Caption: LOLWinehouse
Comments: 17 | Categories: Celebrities
Not sure we can top Mary-Kate and her Optimism Goggles (Victoria FTW!), but this photo of Amy Winehouse is cuter than a bukkit o' lolcats, so let's all do our best, okay? Bonus Added Difficulty: No cheezburgers.

March 10, 2008: Another Bourne Baby
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Matt Damon and his wife have confirmed, through Damon's representative, that they are expecting their second child together. According to the rep, the couple are - wait for it - "so excited!" Also! "They couldn't be happier!"

March 7, 2008: Xtina Makes Peanuts Drrty
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
I don't know about you, but I look at this picture - an outtake from Christina Aguilera's Marie Claire photo shoot last fall - and all I see is a naked, platinum-wigged Lucy Van Pelt doing some sort of Peanut burlesque on Schroeder's piano.

March 6, 2008: Like My Movie?
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celebrities , Movies
Lordy, two Anna Nicole posts in one day? What is this? 2007? Jezebel posted the trailer for the new movie about Anna Nicole Smith titled, shockingly, Anna Nicole. I smell Oscar, baby.

March 6, 2008: "Is Bravo High?"
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities , Reality TV , TV
I couldn't think of a better byline, so I cribbed it from my encyclopedia to all things celebrities, tmz.com. I have to admit that "Showgirls" is one of my guilty pleasures. Hilarious dance numbers, tacky costumes, Kyle MacLachlan and icy nipples. Whats not to like? But who'da thought that Elizabeth Berkley would have her own...

March 6, 2008: Holy!
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Paris Hilton purchased her own personal guru over the weekend! The two were spotted in Los Angeles browsing for trinkets and enlightenment at the venerable Bodhi Tree bookstore before moving on to the Urth Cafe for tea and shaktipat. Fortunately for the balance of the universe this is sort of a hoax? I hope. Because...

March 6, 2008: K-Fed: Get A Better Stylist
Comments: 36 | Categories: Celebrities
Update: First, I removed the reference to his gut, and - as I said in comments below - am very sorry if that reference offended anybody. Second - because everybody asked if this is really him - both K-Fed's rep and ex-partner Shar Jackson have confirmed that it is, indeed, him, and that that is...

March 5, 2008: Prayer: Lord Jesus, Please Stop the Lohans
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , Reality TV
Us Magazine reports that Dina Lohan and her 14-year-old daughter, Ali, will star in a reality show on E! called "Living Lohan." The show will serve as a platform to jump start Ali's career...because the post-reality-show success of so many entertainers is well-documented. But, financially, it's probably a smart move.

March 5, 2008: Heidi Klum: What Can I Say?
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Why, Heidi? Why do you do this? I mean, it's one thing when you deep-throat hoagies on the ski slopes or when you fondle your tits on live television, but do you really have to adopt these postures when you're with your kids? Because, damn. There are just SO MANY GOOD POSSIBLE LINES about the...

March 4, 2008: Lou Pearlman Cut One...a Deal, That Is
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities
TMZ.com reports that the "genius" behind the Backstreet Boys and N*Sync cut a deal with prosecutors and will help to recover the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS that he stole from investors and defrauding banks. However, Pearlman is also being sued by Jabba the Hutt's morning bowel movement for impersonating it in both likeness and...

March 4, 2008: Somebody Luvses The Target
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities
Guess who this is, shopping at Target and looking so unexpectedly soccer mom? No, seriously. Guess!

March 3, 2008: Hugh Jackman: O, Hai, I Needz Bifocals
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Hugh Jackman, here, looks pretty much exactly what my neighbor's Black Lab/Border Collie cross would look like if he donned glasses and took to studying the English Literature. (Which, if he did, I would recommend starting with a little Dickens - probably one of the lesser works, like The Life And Adventures Of Martin Chuzzlewit...

February 29, 2008: Brad And Angie Do It In Multiples
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Been wondering about that secretive Brangelina pregnancy? You know, the one that WASN'T paraded down the red carpet last weekend for us to examine with our snark-binoculars? Here's some scoop: Brad Pitt has, apparently, been telling family and friends that he and Angelina are having - wait for it - twins. TWINS. In other news,...

February 29, 2008: The Stars Are Just Like Us! They Drink Ketchup!
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
I don't care what anybody says: drinking ketchup - as Miley Cyrus did on Leno the other night - straight out of a bottle IS NOT NORMAL. And I say this as a pregnant woman who has been trying to grill chocolate in a cast-iron skillet and who would, were the ground not entirely frozen...

February 29, 2008: Photo In Search of a Caption: Mary-Kate at Paris Fashion Week
Comments: 27 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
*bemused silence* Have at it, betches and any particularly catty bestards.

February 28, 2008: Ashlee Simpson Is Not Up the Stick
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities
Ashlee Simpson confirmed for TMZ.com that she is not, in fact, pregnant. And I'm glad. Not because "OMG, why are all of these unmarried twentysomethings having sex!" but because between the two of them, that baby would have a seriously effed up "scene" hairdo.

February 28, 2008: Kate Moss Sells Drugs
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh, hush, they're just nicotine patches. Kate Moss is reportedly trying to clean up her act, eat her spinach, and quit smoking. Even though she's still at the top of her game, the writing's on the wall for the model, 35, who smokes up to two packs a day. The Daily Mail reports that Moss...

February 28, 2008: Nicole Richie's Million Dollar Baby
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
[Picture removed because, er, um, COPYRIGHT AND SHIT. That's right. We important enough now to attract lawyers from People Magazine. Which, okay, dubious distinction, but still.) So. This is what People Magazine paid ONE! MILLION! DOLLARS! for (you can't see it, I know. Guess when a mag pays ONE MILLION DOLLARS for a baby mug...

February 27, 2008: Mimi, You Be Nice to Kenneth!
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , Video
I was pretty much done with Mariah Carey after she went through that period of getting three minutes of sleep a night and then babbling like a cracked-out chipmunk that's been given a pair of giant ceremonial scissors to open a new Circuit City. Because I thought if we all stopped paying attention maybe she'd...

February 27, 2008: Oscars: Sad About Renfro, Not Sad Enough for Our Montage
Comments: 7 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , RIP , WTF?
During our Oscars extravaganza on MamaPopTalk the other night, I warned everyone that montages always make me cry, particularly the "People Who Died" montage. And if you watched the Oscars, you probably noticed that Heath Ledger closed that montage, rounding out a list of other actors, producers, directors, and studio executives. Noticeably absent, however, was...

February 27, 2008: Nicole Kidman: A Little Boozing Never Hurt A Fetus, Right?
Comments: 8 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities
Now, I should just say upfront that just because a rumor appears online, it doesn't mean that it is true. We all know this. It doesn't stop us from repeating rumors - because, hellz, what fun would life without gossip? - but still, it's worth noting. Because when the New York Post reports that a...

February 26, 2008: Tilda Swinton: A True Amazonian
Comments: 5 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities
Okay, so maybe you didn't much like the one-armed hunting toga she wore to the Oscars, but Tilda Swinton is perfectly happy without your approval of her life choices! This much and more was made crystal clear in Monday's Daily Mail in an article entitled, "Tilda Swinton shares her Oscar joy with young lover...while her...

February 25, 2008: Jimmy Kimmel's Revenge
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities , Talk Shows
Jimmy Kimmel has achieved sweet revenge against his girlfriend Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video by making one of his own, elegantly titled "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck." Kimmel one-ups Silverman's enthusiastically low production values by putting Affleck in a shiny blue shirt and cut-offs, getting Brad Pitt to be a FedEx guy, and cramming...

February 25, 2008: Dear Tilda.
Comments: 11 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , Fashion , Horror
Let's talk, shall we?

February 25, 2008: When Gary Buseys Attack
Comments: 11 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities
This is exactly why Jennifer Garner should have taken me to the Oscars with her if she was leaving the hubby at home: she needed protection! From drunk D-listers! If you missed it, what happened was this: Gary Busey - drunk, stoned or just effed up on his own general worthlessness - pushed himself into...

February 22, 2008: Salma Hayek's Unearthly Boobs: Natural Wonder, Or Science Fiction?
Comments: 6 | Categories: Boobs , Celebrities
I do not, I promise, have any kind of boob fixation, beyond what I understand to be the normal set of fixations that every woman has with her own boobs and whatever deficiencies attend said rack (in my own case, these are many). That said, I have to admit that I am mesmerized by Salma...

February 22, 2008: Puppetmaster Releases Farrell, Turns Him Into A Real Boy
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities , Film , Movies , RIP
The wooden puppet known as Colin Farrell practiced using his newly warmed flesh yesterday to speak about the man whose death has given him the opportunity to turn into an actual human being. Australia's Herald Sun reports that Farrell, still unused to having a real, beating heart, feels "traumatized" by stepping into Heath Ledger's role...

February 20, 2008: Will Ferrell's Impeccable Red Carpet Style
Comments: 13 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
I do sort of miss the 'fro, but I understand he probably didn't want to seem over the top, or anything.

February 20, 2008: Pink Is Blue
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
So Pink and her motocross man, Carey Hart, are splitting up. And I totally believe it when she says that despite the break, their friendship has "never been stronger," because look at her! She's fucking PINK, she is tuff, she is funny, she's hurting, and she will beat the shit out of you if you...

February 20, 2008: Britney Spears: Same Crotch, Different Day
Comments: 8 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celebrities
Sigh. Britney flashed the paps again last night getting out of the car. Picture after the jump. It's censored but possibly not safe for work and also completely tacky. I'm not even going to bother with the "Oops! I did it again!" jokes...

February 20, 2008: Is J-Lo Having Those Babies Today? FINALLY?
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Because, you know, she's had that luxury maternity room reserved for weeks, and her couture hospital gowns - you think I'm joking? - have just been sitting, untouched, in her Louis Vuitton luggage for, like, forever. It's about time, don't you think? Well, apparently, Jenny From The Rodeo Drive Block checked into hospital someday late...

February 19, 2008: What Say You?
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
In a story titled "Boys Will Be Boys, Girls Will Be Hounded By The Media," Sunday's New York Times addressed the gender disparities in the media coverage of celebrity trainwrecks. Why do famous women get so much more attention than their male counterparts when they're going off the rails?

February 19, 2008: Matthew McConaughey's The One
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities
As penance for the terrible, nightmare-inducing Partridge-Family-cum-Hobbit-Porn monstrosity that I foisted upon you yesterday, I present one delicious, palate-cleansing piece of video-truffle, starring Matthew McConaughey, mostly clothed but eventually not. (Not a Matthew McConaughey fan? Not a problem. Just squint a little - not too hard, you don't want to miss the slo-mo tuxedoed Walk...

February 18, 2008: Kurt + Goldie = <3
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
Sigh. I love love love this picture of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. This perfect couple flew to Paris for Valentine's Day. Again...sigh... Source

February 18, 2008: Celebrity Breath Check
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , Film , Movies
Natalie Portman helpfully checked ScarJo's breath for traces of sour cream 'n' onion Ruffles at the Berlin Film Festival. Their costume fest, The Other Boleyn Girl, premiered there Friday. The reviews so far have been a little "meh," complaining that these two could have soared with a better script. But oooh, the costumes.

February 18, 2008: Lindsay Lohan Hacks Up a Smoker's Lung All Over Marilyn Monroe's Memory
Comments: 12 | Categories: Celebrities , Print
In an another case of young celebutards pretending to be classic film icons they have no business imitating (COUGH COUGH PARIS), Lindsay Lohan has recreated Marilyn Monroe's famous "The Last Sitting" photoshoot, which occurred just six weeks before she died of a drug overdose, for New York Magazine. Bert Stern, who took the original shots...

February 18, 2008: Fonda and Betches Agree: C*nt Kerfluffle Silly
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Last week, the world clutched its pearls over Jane Fonda's use of the word "cunt" on the Today show. As a couple of you lovely betches pointed out, Meredith Vieira's later apology on behalf of the show and Fonda was a bit much. Today, Fonda tells Us Magazine that the betches are right: this is...

February 18, 2008: More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Danny Bonaduce Brings His Lil' Partridge Out To Play
Comments: 12 | Categories: Celebrities
I am warning you: what follows after the jump is not only NSFW, it is NSFVWEQCAASSAAAMABB (Not Suitable For Viewing Without Excessive Quantities Of Caffeine And A Strong Stomach And Also Maybe A Barf Bag):

February 15, 2008: Jennifer Garner, All Knocked Up?
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Here's some juicy news: Jennifer Garner is, reportedly, pregnant again. Which, if you ask me, would be awesome, because I am also pregnant for the second time, and this would just be one more good reason for she and I to be totally BFF.

February 15, 2008: Monty Python Doesn't Laugh at Sad People
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Pop Culture
Although a decent chunk of the population believes Britney Spears is still in the running for Upper-Class Twit of the Year (her real only competition being the Hilton and Kardashian families), Eric Idle has removed her name from his Spamalot musical. "Because we don't laugh at sad people. Mike Nichols (the show's director) requested it...

February 14, 2008: Duelling Giant Neck Accessories!
Comments: 6 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , Fashion
Gwyneth: I look nice in pink. This bow is not about to eat my head. Lindsay: I'm so glad I went back to brown hair. My flower is much smaller and more like a ragged, labial sea creature than that thing on Paltrow's chest. What's she supposed to be, a birthday present? Gwyneth: I can...

February 14, 2008: Hey, Y'all, Britney's A Mad Cow!
Comments: 6 | Categories: Britney Spears , Celebrities
I'm usually sympathetic to groups like PETA. I love animals, and so I'm pretty happy that there's someone out there doing the hard work of defending them. You know, doing stuff like getting naked and throwing paint on Anna Wintour and her furs, which totally sounds like it would be fun if I weren't so,...

February 13, 2008: Frances Bean: All Growed Up
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , Fashion
The new Harper's Bazaar has some great photos and an interesting little piece about fifteen-year-old (how did that happen?!) Frances Bean Cobain. Turns out she's, like, OMG NORMAL. I don't know if it's possible to overprotect a rock heiress who's had fan sites devoted to her since she was born, but she's cute about the...

February 13, 2008: Barron Hilton Arrested for DUI; Big Sister Paris Whines That He's Copying Her (not really)
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celeb News , Celebrities
Well, well, well. It's a day that ends in y, so that must mean that over-privileged brats are acting like idiots and putting other people in danger while they're doing it. Paris Hilton's little brother, Barron, was arrested yesterday for driving after imbibing. What's most notable about this arrest is that Barron is 18 and...

February 12, 2008: Jeff and Vikki: Making Me Vomit Since Early 2008.
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celebrities , Horror , Reality TV , TV
Take a good look at this couple:

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