MamaPop™

Bloom Bling Burgled

Sorry, but when the opportunity to do an awesomely ridiculous alliterative headline à la Page Six arises, you gotta carpe the diem, know what I'm saying? But, you guys, it is totally not funny that Orlando Bloom's Hollywood Hills home was robbed of over $500K worth of jewelry, so you just stop your giggling. This is serious business.

I am probably not the first to do so, but I would like to implicate Lindsay Lohan in this case, because if something in Hollywood goes missing, there's like a 60% chance that Lindsay thought you said she could have it one time and then pocketed it when you went to the bathroom.

Angelina Jolie Quietly Visits Vets

I'll be honest.  When I first read this headline in my feeds I thought "I didn't even know she had pets."

Sometimes I wonder about me.

ANYWAY.  This story will melt your black heart, it's so touching. 

Angelina Jolie took great pains last month to make an unpublicized trip to the Walter Reed Military Hospital in Washington D.C to visit wounded war veterans.  According to several sources, despite being one of the most famous celebrities on earth, she arrived sans fanfare or an entourage. 

Even better than that, after spending "several hours" with the soldiers Angelina left each of them a gift bag which included a $1,000 Best Buy gift card.

Angelina's USO trip was outed when one of the vet's wives posted her pictures to her blog.  Bloggers.  They ruin everything.  (More pics after the jump.)   

Michael Jackson's Kids Want to Stay With Janet, and So Do I

Amidst the crazy custody battle for Michael Jackson's kids that's heating up between Jackson's mom Katherine and biological mom/dermatologist's assistant/money-grubber Debbie Rowe, another name is popping up as a favored candidate for caregiver - Michael's little sister Janet.

OK! magazine is reporting that Prince, Paris and Blanket all want to live with their Aunt Janet, and who can blame them? She seems like the most normal of the bunch, and has managed to successfully keep her private life under wraps. Also, who wouldn't give their right arm to have the chance to learn from Janet herself all the dance moves from the Pleasure Principal video? Just me? Okay, but you'll be sorry when I call your lame ass out at the next dance-off.

Tony Romo Dumped Jessica Simpson Because Of John Mayer?

Look, I'm not completely sure why I like Jessica Simpson (did I just say that?) but I think it's because she reminds me of a deer caught in headlights. Plus she's unlucky in love and her weird, over-involved manager Dad is creepy and both reasons make me sympathetic. Trust me, I don't get my feelings either but it's the same logic as feeling guilty about offending a stuffed animal: it makes no sense but there's no denying I feel bad when I have to put Teddykins in a drawer. Or is it just me that feels that way?

But back to poor Jessica who was recently dumped the night before her twenty-ninth birthday by her boyfriend of over a year, Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. Apparently she was expecting an engagement ring but instead she got the "Welcome to Dumpsville, population you" telegram. Ouch. I once was dumped by a guy the day before Valentine's Day and I've always suspected he did it so he didn't have to buy a gift. Yup, I totally dated those kinds of guys.

Mel Gibson Directs Music Video for Girlfriend and I Say It's Got to be Love

Any fond memory of Mel Gibson's Mad Max and what he did for my teenage romanticism of the impending apocalypse began to evaporate when Mel went all crazy, but now it's completely disappeared after watching the music video he just directed for his current girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva. Full disclosure: Ms. Grigorieva is also pregnant with his eighth child. Oh how I miss the Cold War!

I figured I couldn't really comment on the video without actually watching the product of the love bird collaboration, so I watched it. There may have been extended pauses due to boredom but I've got to admit, I really didn't see the flaming keys coming. He really caught me by surprise there so way to keep the audience on their toes. Actually, I'm not sure who the target audience is for this thing, but I'm pretty sure it's not teenagers. Or fans of Apocolypto.

Sex and the City Sequel to Have Victoria Beckham Cameo

I just learned two things. The first thing is that all four of the stars from Sex and the City have negotiated their contracts to appear in a sequel to the film that was spun off of the tv show that you can now watch on TBS but without the soft core parts.

The second thing is that Victoria Beckham will have a cameo in Sex and the City 2.

Morgan Freeman Finds Love. WITH HIS GRANDDAUGHTER.

What the world needs now is love, gross love.

I don't suppose any laws are being broken here, but Morgan Freeman - that sprightly 70something - is apparently getting hitched with E'Dena Hines, who is a) 27 and b) his step-granddaughter.

Freeman is finalizing his divorce from Myrna Colley-Lee, his wife of 25 years.  Once the paperwork is finished up, though, he'll be tying the knot with Hines, the granddaughter of Freeman's first wife.  Freeman and Colley-Lee have raised Hines "since she was a child".

I can only imagine the many romantic years those two have left together.  There'll be changing of diapers, walks around the park - it'll be magic.

Jim Carrey to be a Grandpa

Before Jim Carrey was seen frolicking on the beach in girlfriend Jenny McCarthy's black bikini and before he married Lauren Holly (which ended less than a year later) AND before he was briefly engaged to Renee Zellweger (which I hardly remember even happened), he was married for 12 years to a woman named Melissa and together they had daughter, Jane. She's now a 21-year-old lead singer of The Jane Carrey Band and a soon-to-be mom, making Jim Carrey a grandpa at 47!

Is Britney Heading Toward that 19th Nervous Breakdown?

You people want celebrity gossip? How is this? Friends of Britney Spears are saying that she is hearing voices again and ex K-Fed says “Britney’s speaking gibberish baby talk.”

My favorite quote from Bitten and Bound is:

Another insider said that Spears is also obsessed with unicorns at the moment and truly believes that they are real and live in a zoo in New Zealand.

Dude.

August Photoshoots & Cover Girls (Alternate Title: Airbrush Me Until I'm a Cartoon Please)

Now you don't have to buy the magazines.  You're welcome.

Let's start with Kate Winslet in the August issue of Harper's Bazaar.  There's something so authentic about her.  Even when she's smiling she looks like she's just about to nail you in the head with her boot.

And if I could get that shade of blonde, the world would be mine.  Mine I tell you!  Why can't Supercuts just listen to me for once?

The good, the bad, and the S&M-y after the jump.

Check Out Denise Richards' Funbags!

Any parent who's ever thrown a kid's birthday party knows the most labor intensive part of the entire process is putting together the dreaded Goodie Bags. Who invented this masochistic, time-consuming, crappy tradition? Invite a bunch of kids to a party, babysit them, feed them, and then send them home with a bag of knick-knacks that probably cost more than the gift they brought? Why not just hand out $20 bills at the door?

But check it out - maybe for your next party, save yourself some time and trouble and have Denise Richards' bring over her Funbags! As she says in the following video, "I've been showing off my Funbags at parties for years, and now they're yours to enjoy!" And the kids love them. "Her parties are the best! I can't wait to get my hands on her Funbags!" says a satisfied 10-year-old.

The Top Five Things I Didn't Care About This Week

As is usual for this little entertainment blogger, I have been trolling through my usual list of entertainment and pop culture websites, reading the buzz about celebrities, and eking enjoyment and laughter out of both their failure and fortune.

As is also usual for me, a few things gave me pause, pauses in which I thought Really? Did you just report about a nipple? Because I'm pretty sure that all of us have at least one, if not two or more. (Come on, there are lots of you who have more than two nipples. I've personally met four people who have shown me theirs. It's true.)

Is Kristen Stewart carrying Robert Pattinson's Love Child?

As any purveyor of gossip knows: belly bloat equals pregnancy especially when the owner of said belly bloat is Bella and the rumored poppa is Edward.

Since Twilight graduated from my bedside fodder to celluloid, even my poor mom knows that Robert Pattinson is said to be knockin' boots with Kristen Stewart. And granted dude does give off some mighty fine chemistry even though in my opinion, Kristen's Bella was a wooden as this here spoon I'm using to stir tonight's dinner.

Amber Rose Dumps Kanye At Diddy's

Like, OMG. Did you hear who Amber Rose was making out with at Diddy’s White Party on Saturday night? I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t Kanye.

(I totally feel like I’m back in the hallowed halls of high school, gossiping about which cheerleader the quarterback’s banging this week, and you know what? I’m okay with that.)