MamaPop™

Josh Duhamel Cheats On Fergie With Stripper

Remember the good 'ol days when the National Enquirer used to focus on crop circles and Jesus shaped french toast?  Now - after a string of verified breaking stories - when they report, people listen.  (Maybe you should take a second look at your breakfast after all.)

So when I read that the latest in philandering douche canoes was none other than His Royal Hotness Josh Duhamel...I sort of believe it.  It does have the ring of truth.  Especially since the stripper passed a polygraph. 

David Cross Snorted Cocaine Near Barack Obama and Brags About It

I really enjoy the work of David Cross. I think he was brilliant on Arrested Development, but I have some questions about his judgment. For example, would you snort cocaine in a room with a bunch of secret service agents?

An Open Letter To Ralph Lauren: Women Are Not Bratz Dolls

Dear Ralph Lauren:

There has been a great deal of press surrounding your ex-employee Fillipa Hamilton, the model who was photoshopped to a ridiculous degree and then summarily fired for being too fat. I have to wonder aloud why someone who is 5'10 and 120 pounds can ever be considered overweight, as a BMI of 17, which Ms. Hamilton has, is actually considered underweight. By a lot. But that's not the world of modeling, right? Of course not. I should just go about my business and let you fire women who dare to have even a modicum of realism to their figures. 

Bullshit.

Jon Gosselin, Giving Douchery A Whole New Name

Headline: Kate and Jon Gosselin At War Over Filming Kids Birthday Party.

Right, because Jon's now all opposed to that shit, right?

Wait... what?

JON'S the one who wants to let the film crews in?

Lindsay Lohan's Dad Says She's An Active Addict And He Will Save Her

Oh Michael Lohan. Is there any low you won't sink to? In an interview, Michael Lohan has stated that Lindsay is addicted to prescription medication, and that he will be the one to get her clean. 

Whether or not this is true, the real point of this is that Michael Lohan is a scum-sucking bottom feeder who wants his scummy, horrid hands in all the cookie jars. Exploiting his daughter for his own fame yet again, he has now either fictionalized or (more likely) outed Lindsay as an active addict. Instead of, you know, actually getting her help, he runs to the media and blabs his mouth off about his troubled child.

Way to stay classy, Michael, YOU DOUCHE.

Who Is This Guy Accused Of Extorting Letterman?

 
So we know some idiot decided to extort Letterman for a whopping 2 million dollars, but who is he?  And as an aside, if you are going to extort David Letterman don't you pick like 15, maybe 20 million dollars?  Get enough to get out of the country and never be seen again.  What does 2 million dollars buy you these days anyway?  And Letterman has some serious cash.

Also, was anyone really, honestly surprised that he slept with someone on his staff?  Maybe more than one person?  The man works like a gazillion hours a week.  Where was he supposed to meet someone?  This happens all over corporate America.  Unless it was sexual harassment, and I have read no accounts that say it was, I'm not sure exactly where the scandal is.  OHHHHH, he had an ACTUAL consensual relationship with someone he worked with.  SCANDAL.

Does Kirsten Dunst Have to Pull Stupid Stunts to Get Roles? Already?

I know that she bugs some people but I kind of like Kirsten Dunst. I haven't forgotten how good she was as Claudia in "Interview with the Vampire". I loved "The Virgin Suicides" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and "Bring it On". So why, at 27, is she already resorting to crashing parties to audition for roles?

The rumor is that she crashed a party for Jane Campion because she is dying to get a role in Runaway, a film that Campion is working on that will be based on Alice Munro's book of short stories.

Jamie Kennedy Calls Naked Jennifer Love Hewitt a "Pear Ass"

Calling a girl a "pear ass" = not cool.  Calling your girlfriend a "pear ass" the first time you see her naked = grounds for shin kicking and indian burns.

Jamie Kennedy should work on his relationship skills. And probably running from thrown shoes.  Because somehow along the way Jamie decided that calling a girl a "pear ass" is actually a compliment.

While performing his improv show on August 23, Jamie brought Jennifer onstage, where she shared a few intimate details of their relationship such as this gem about the first time Jamie saw Jennifer naked.

The VMAs: Win Vs. Fail, When Win = New Moon Trailer And Fail = Kanye

Whooooooooa buddy, were the VMAs out of control this year. By now everyone's heard about Kanye's douchebaggery, but trust me, that wasn't the only OMG moment, by far. There were a lot of missteps at the VMAs, as there are every year, but there also were some highlights, so let's go through the show and dissect the chaos, shall we?

Kanye West Apologizes For Being A Douche On The VMAs

In case you missed it, from tonight's MTV VMAs:

Kanye West was then escorted from Radio City Music Hall. Shortly thereafter, the following appeared on his blog:

DNA Test Proves John Edwards Is the Father of His Mistress' Child

Hold on to your housecoat.  John Edwards is the father of his mistress, Rielle Hunter's, one-year-old daughter, Frances Quinn.  (And no, there will be no further definitions of is, John.)  Despite previous refusals to grant a DNA test, Rielle ultimately agreed to have her daughter tested because, according to a friend, "She was worried about getting long-term financial support for her daughter. So she hired an attorney, and John consented to undergo a secret swab test to establish paternity."

According to multiple sources "John begged Rielle not to get an abortion", has been paying her $15,000 monthly in child support, and "always knew he was the father of Rielle's baby".

As did the rest of the country. It seems like the only one in denial was his cancer-stricken wife of 30 years, Elizabeth.  It's about to get much worse.  John may be headed to jail.

A Brief Tutorial on Crabcore

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I got into some argument about something or other. And as many of our arguments tend to go, it quickly devolved from a spirited debate into, "You're stupid/No, YOU'RE stupid/Your mom!/No, YOUR mom!" And as a method of shutting me down, my husband threatened to litter my Facebook wall with crabcore videos. Deathblow.

What is crabcore, you ask? Allow me to make your reality suck a bit more enlighten you.

Rachel Hunter / Jarrett Stoll Wedding Called Off

Former supermodel and current reality television regular, Rachel Hunter and L.A. Kings center, Jarrett Stoll have called off their wedding.

Or it would appear that Jarrett Stoll has called off the wedding.

Or at least that is what he said in the e-mail.

Yes, this douchebag hockey player called off his wedding seven weeks before it was supposed to happen in an e-mail to his fiancee.

The Rumors of Kim Kardashian's Engagement Were Greatly Exaggerated

Kim Kardashian could really use a new new publicist. When her current new PR person referred to Reggie Bush as Kardashian's fiancee in an interview with Star magazine the media went wild.

Which would be fine except Bush never proposed.

This is like a public relations Shakespearean tragedy. Now Star, the publicist, Kardashian and Reggie Bush all look like jerks.

I Frankly Don't Even Know What To Say About This

And you'll pardon me for my incoherence once you check out this video. Trust me.

OMFG WTF ARRGGHH!!??!!?

Someone, please, explain this to me. And fetch me my smelling salts, while you're at it -- I seem to have a touch of the vapors all of a sudden...

[Thanks to reader Monica for the heads-up!]

Once upon a time there was this band. They were, in a word, bad. They were a bad band. Unoriginal, so cheesy their CDs should have come with macaroni, "Christian" except when it didn't serve their "image" anymore (read: when they got a bigger contract,) and just...MAN they were bad. But my quarrel was not with the band members, nay! My problem was with their ego-inflated douchebag of a lead singer, one of the most infernally smug and self-indulgent people I have ever had the distinct displeasure of not only hearing on the radio, but in interview after interview, wherein he would ramble incoherently because, and I'm no doctor, but I suspect the douchiness had infiltrated his central nervous system.

The douche I speak of is Scott Stapp, and the band is Creed. They're back.

And the earth died screaming.

About a year ago, Woody Allen sued American Apparel for using his image on their billboards without his permission. Things have since gone downhill.

Creed Reunites; World Weeps

Once upon a time there was this band. They were, in a word, bad. They were a bad band. Unoriginal, so cheesy their CDs should have come with macaroni, "Christian" except when it didn't serve their "image" anymore (read: when they got a bigger contract,) and just...MAN they were bad. But my quarrel was not with the band members, nay! My problem was with their ego-inflated douchebag of a lead singer, one of the most infernally smug and self-indulgent people I have ever had the distinct displeasure of not only hearing on the radio, but in interview after interview, wherein he would ramble incoherently because, and I'm no doctor, but I suspect the douchiness had infiltrated his central nervous system.

The douche I speak of is Scott Stapp, and the band is Creed. They're back.

And the earth died screaming.

Woody Allen and American Apparel in Legal Fisticuffs; Pop Culture Writer Utterly Confused

About a year ago, Woody Allen sued American Apparel for using his image on their billboards without his permission. Things have since gone downhill.