MamaPop™

Beyonce, What In God's Name Are You Wearing?

Talented, beautiful, and undeniably fabulous... So explain this outfit to me.

Tyra Banks, Please Step Away From The Fannypack

NO. Seriously? And it's designer? AS IF THAT MAKES IT OKAY.

Top Chef Recap: All Stars Dinner

Come on, Top Chef! Why do you mess with me so? I turned on my television last night ready and waiting to see Padma ordering room service. I saw the teaser last week. I knew what was coming.

But no, I was slapped down. Instead you gave me a reunion show. Well, sort of a reunion show, but less coherent. You called it the All Stars Dinner.

I Wonder If Jessica Simpson Thinks She's Actually Had GOOD Scripts?

Ashlee Simpson was recently axed from Melrose Place and although it doesn't seem like any "Save Ashlee!" petitions are circling the Internet, it apparently stunned Jessica Simpson even more than her little sister.

Please Don't Let Grau Wal Hair Jewelry Be the Next Big Thing

Certain fashion trends need to die. The return of popped collars? Horribly reminiscent of American Psycho era high society serial killers. Tissue paper thin jersey anything? Guaranteed to make anyone look lumpy and dowdy. Really long and pointy toes on shoes? If freakishly long and misshapen feet are your thing, all the power to you.

Some fashion trends, though, should never be born...

Amy Winehouse: In Ur Nitemarez, Stealin Ur Babeez

A warning: the image that follows the jump is NSFYS (Not Safe For Your Soul)

Fresh Hell: Mall Cop Director to Remake Short Circuit

Here's some input I didn't really need: Steve Carr, the d-bag responsible for Paul Blart: Mall Cop, has been signed by Dimension Films to direct a remake of Short Circuit, the 1986 sci-fi-lite flick in which a robot out-acted Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy, which is almost an impressive feat.

Year One Rented. Good Taste Police En Route.

I just got around to seeing Year One, because I saw the previews and used my superpower of knowing when things are going to be suckish ahead of time and just didn't, but then it's Sunday night and I have to write about something for Mama Pop, so it was this or The Proposal or stapling my tongue to the roof of my mouth, and I couldn't really write about the stapling thing because that's not really pop culture-related. And all the copies of The Proposal were out. And I hate my eyes and my ears and my intellect.

Balloon Boy's Mom Confesses to Hoax

Well, well, so I was right.  In a signed affidavit, Mayumi Heene, the mother of "Balloon Boy," admitted the whole nonsense was a hoax in order to get the family more media attention for a reality show.  Dad still isn't talking.

10 Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Tattoos, Plus the One On This Shameless Author's Butt

As long as there are people with bad ideas and it is legal to outfit other people with bad ideas with tattoo guns, we will have bad tattoos, and, man, are there some bad tattoos out there. Even Hayden Panettiere's got one. I feel for her, though, because I, too, had a brain fart in my youth, and now I've got my own slightly embarrassing butt tattoo. Here, let me show you it...

An Open Letter To Ralph Lauren: Women Are Not Bratz Dolls

Dear Ralph Lauren:

There has been a great deal of press surrounding your ex-employee Fillipa Hamilton, the model who was photoshopped to a ridiculous degree and then summarily fired for being too fat. I have to wonder aloud why someone who is 5'10 and 120 pounds can ever be considered overweight, as a BMI of 17, which Ms. Hamilton has, is actually considered underweight. By a lot. But that's not the world of modeling, right? Of course not. I should just go about my business and let you fire women who dare to have even a modicum of realism to their figures. 

Bullshit.

Miss Homeless Belgium, In Which the Losers Remain Homeless

The recent Miss Plastic Hungary pageant that required that its contestants have had extensive plastic surgery threw me for a bit of a loop, because it just seems strange to publicly reward women for disliking their own physical appearance. Oh, wait. We do that all the time. North America came up with The Swan, which required that its contestants also be emotionally scarred enough to agree to on-camera therapy beamed into millions of American households, so who am I to judge?

What definitely threw me for a loop is that, right on the heels of Miss Plastic Hungary, it was announced that Therese Van Belle, 58, is the winner of the Miss Homeless Belgium pageant.

Glee Dissed By NBC/Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

I have a brand new reason to not watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. NBC had a hissy fit when they realized that the cast of Glee (a FOX show) was supposed to perform during the spectacle.

It wasn't like I needed another reason not to watch. I freaking hate parades, and now I kind of hate NBC. I see their point, Glee airs at the exact time as  Law and Order: SVU. I guess NBC thinks that if the people who are still interested in sex crimes after all these years of Law and Order might be drawn away to another network by people in their mid to late 20's pretending to be in show choir.

Zach Braff: Not Dead; Scrubs: Not Dead Either, But Definitely In A Persistent Vegetative State

Yesterday, Scrubs star and Garden State writer/director Zach Braff became the latest victim in a series of web slayings. This year has brought many visits from the Grim Reaper, some of them real, some of them completely fabricated, and thankfully Braff's RIP post, like Jeff Goldblum's earlier this year, was complete bunkum. 

In order to calm fans upset by his untimely demise, Zach Braff issued an "I'm not dead yet!" post on Facebook and the following video statement:

Welcome To My Nightmares, Lady Gaga.

No, really. Make yourself right at home, Lady. Seems that you fit right in, what with, you know, the horrible massacres of Hello Kitty dolls and all.

Jon Gosselin, Giving Douchery A Whole New Name

Headline: Kate and Jon Gosselin At War Over Filming Kids Birthday Party.

Right, because Jon's now all opposed to that shit, right?

Wait... what?

JON'S the one who wants to let the film crews in?

Brooke Shields and Jim Belushi in Airplane-SUV Incident

Important breaking news: CNN reports that Brooke Shields and Jim Belushi were in an airplane that was landing at Hearst Castle in San Simeon, California, when their airplane hit a parked SUV.

Really. I know that it sounds like the beginning of a really stupid joke but apparently this actually happened.