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Gleecap(let) - Ballads

Due to an epic windstorm last night that cut the power and sent Casa Snarky back to the 19th century, I'm getting a late start on this week's Gleecap, so we're gonna kick it Reader's Digest stylee. 

Gleecap - Wheels

Last night at around 6pm I heard a faint, high-pitched shriek. At first I thought my smoke alarm needed a new battery, but then I realized it was all of you on the East Coast cheering for the return of Glee.

Glee: Best and Worst Songs So Far

One more week, gleeks. With the recent release of Glee: The Music, Volume 1, I'm sure many of you obsessed fans have already determined your favorite Glee numbers. I know I have, so I've compiled a list of what I think are the best and worst numbers so far this season.

Glee Withdrawals? Welcome to the Gleeks Anonymous Group Therapy Open Thread

Show of hands: who's having the howling fantods this week with no new episode of Glee? I know I am. My name is Snarky Amber and I am a Glee addict.

Gleecap - Mash-up

Glee is going on a small break after last night because of some sporting event where all the players takes steroids and hit tiny balls with a plank of wood, so savor this recap, as it features Sue dancing, Emma singing, Will breakdancing and enough purple slushie to make a grape-flavored ski resort.

Gleecap - Throwdown

Oh, children. Last night was pretty much the best example of why I get up at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday to write this recap. Because this show is so funny and dark and  through all the complete implausibility of their flawless rehearsals and ridiculous shenanigans, the characters can still seem so real. I love that it’s a show that’s not afraid to make you feel bad for a bitchy cheerleader or show that, sometimes, one of the biggest nerds in school is also a bully.

So let’s begin. 

Gleecap - Vitamin D

Last week on Glee, Kristin Chenoweth blew the roof off McKinley and made all these kids look like amateurs, so this week's "What You Missed On Glee" has nothing to do with her whatsoever. Probably fair; it wasn't a plot-driving episode except for the fact that Rachel's back in the glee club and everyone knows Quinn is pregnant now, though they all still think Finn's the daddy, when really it's Puck. Oh, and that there is unmistakable chemistry between Will and Emma, even though Emma's dating the ethnically ambiguous Ken Tenaka and Will's married with a bun in the oven that's actually an Ace bandage and some cotton batting.

This week brings us performance enhancing drugs, song mashups, a Mexican standoff over Will, and—OMG you guys—Sue's DIARY. A lot happened this week, so grab a snack and settle in for a bumpy recap.

Gleecap - Rhodes Not Taken

Last week on Glee: Quinn is pregnant and it’s Puck’s, but Finn thinks it’s his, and Teri is not pregnant but she has her eyes on Quinn’s baby, and I kinda don’t blame her because with Quinn and Puck’s genes it’ll be one cute (but mean) baby. And Rachel quit Glee to be in Cabaret, but seriously, who cares? 

Well, Quinn doesn’t care, because she has Rachel’s solo now in “Don’t Stop Believin’”, and she sounds okay until she has to go barf. 

Gleecap - Preggers

Previously on Glee, there was singing and dancing and a fake pregnancy and a glee club three members shy of a competition-worthy choir.

The episode opens up with Kurt in a unitard and sequined vest recording a video of himself doing “Single Ladies” with Tina and the other blond cheerleader heretofore known as NotQuinn. They’re good, but honestly, there was a guy in the drag show I put on last winter who was so good it was like Beyonce grew a penis and was Vietnamese, so color me unimpressed  Anyway, Kurt’s dad comes home and he’s very gruff about this very gay display of gayness, but Tina and NotQuinn manage to help Kurt into a lie about how all this Fosse-like prancing is actually conditioning for the football team, because he’s their kicker. Only he isn’t. He’s fucked. Dad asks for a ticket to his first game. Oh, and Tina’s his girlfriend, though he’s not ready to be exclusive yet. Since he’s INTO DUDES, OMG. Even dogs know it.

Gleecap - Acafellas

Welcome new and, uh, less-new Gleeks! This week we have an elven Nazi dictator posing as a choreographer, an a capella cover of “I Wanna Sex You Up” by Color Me Badd that will make all the cougars wet, and Josh Groban, who is unfortunately not involved in said cougar lubrication. What we don’t have is nearly enough Sue Sylvester, dammit. Don’t let it happen again, Ryan Murphy. 

Glee-cap - Showmance

Last week, Fox aired the director's cut of the pilot for its new series, Glee, which previewed in May after the season finale of American Idol. It was hilarious, heart-warming and full of musical guilty pleasures. And if you didn't watch it yet, I suggest you get to Hulu or Fox.com and watch the first two episodes, because this show is a real gem. However, if you're expecting it to be a real family show, I suggest you remember that series creator Ryan Murphy also does Nip/Tuck. Caveat emptor.

As a former high school show choir geek and a connoisseur of teen comedies, I feel I am uniquely qualified to recap this new show on a weekly basis. So, with my dubious credentials out in the open, let the Gleecap begin!