MamaPop™

Murdered Model ID'ed By Breast Implants; Reality Star Suspect Commits Suicide

It would all make a fantastic CSI episode, and I'm sure it will be one, as soon as they can get a script.

The remains of model Jasmine Fiore were identified using the serial numbers on her breast implants, and the international manhunt for the lead suspect in her murder continues, Authorities have deduced that Ryan Jenkins walked across the Washington/Canadian border to flee authorities. Jenkins' body was found today. 

Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on VH1's reality show Megan Wants A Millionaire, and the upcoming VH1 show I Love Money 3. Both shows have been cancelled in light of the arrest warrant.

I always knew reality contestants were shady, but could this guy really be a murderer?

this story has been updated after the jump

Watching "The Bachelorette" For The First Time

The lengths I go to for you, dear readers. I usually have very strong convictions about what I will and will not watch. As such, I have never seen one episode of the following television shows: Survivor, The Bachelor, The Apprentice, Big Brother, or The Bachelorette. Until last night. It's not that I have anything against reality TV. Au contraire, mon frere. It's not that I think these shows are trashy or beneath me, but rather that I like my reality TV without the pretense that the participants are anything but a bunch of asshats pursuing their 15 minutes, and that's why I watch VH1.

Anyhoo, because of the great MJ-ocalypse of 2009, pop culture stories are pretty thin on the ground unless you want retellings of people's close encounters of the King of Pop kind, which I think we can all agree there's been enough of this week. So I'm watching The Bachelorette tonight for the first time, a show my research indicates has been on the air since 2003, which boggles the mind. Below the fold I will share my thoughts with you on a timeline. Because I care. Shall we begin?

Charm School 3 and My Super Rad Idea

I will admit upfront to being rather ignorant to the Rock of Love/Real Chance of Love/Charm School phenomena. I have precious few brain cells at this point in life and I need to preserve them for things like eating and tying my shoes. Plus, my interest in reality TV pretty much stopped around the London edition of The Real World, so these weird spin-offs of spin-offs of spin-offs of shows, featuring the dregs of reality stars, just don't grab me. Well, I'll watch a few episodes here and there, but I can't really get into them.

Anyway, I was just watching the official preview of Charm School 3 and had a sweet idea, inspired by host Ricki Lake.

Janet Jackson's Bewb Is Back In Court, But I Have More Horrific Crimes To Report

Oh PEOPLE. Oh my precious Rhythm Nation. You're sane, are you not? You realize that the showing of a woman's breast on national television is hardly a crime, do you not? You have a sense of reason, do you not???

Well apparently, the SUPREME COURT thinks otherwise. And the case has been appealed in the Philadelphia court system in order to 're-examine' the case against Janet Jackson and her boobie during the 2004 (that's five years ago, y'all) Super Bowl. 

The Supreme Court versus a boobie. Damn, America, we certainly give pause to what constitutes a legal case, do we not?

So in celebration of Janet's ta-ta and all the hullabaloo surrounding it, I give you five things more heinous than a knocker on teevee.

Hulk Hogan Shocks Me by Showing Some Tact

I was a kid in the 80s and for whatever reason, professional wrestling was really big at my elementary school. Not wanting to be totally left out of every conversation at the lunch table, I attempted to watch those Main Event shows that features the superstars of the day, Hulk Hogan and...uh...the other one...and those guys. Roddy Piper. And that guy Cyndi Lauper was friends with.

Anyway, I obviously couldn't get that into it. The whole high theatrics of the, erm, sport just seemed unnecessary since actual professional sports are overly dramatic as it is. And Hulk Hogan just creeped me out. The hair and the mustache and the tan and the aggro...I really didn't get the appeal. So I'm sure you can imagine how hard my eyes rolled back in my head when he became a reality TV star and his freakishly blonde offspring started making records and doing unspeakable things to jeans.

Online Media, Social Networking Changing How We Watch TV

Today, I return to the establishment of higher learning where I work and study after a full week of sloth. I would like to say I did only things that engaged my mind, body and spirit — read classic literature, did Iyengar yoga or learned to rock climb. But those would be lies.

No, poppets. I watched RuPaul's Drag Race with Miss Banshee. And we LAUGHED and LAUGHED and made snarky comments about Shannel's big ego and Jade's big cock. What's so special about watching TV and wise-crackin' with your best girlfriend? Well, it's kinda different if one of you resides in New Jersey, whilst the other represents Washington State. Yet watch together we do, and it's all thanks to the magic of the internets and Logo Online, which has the entire season of Drag Race available online.

Taming Your Topiary

Every once in a while, a commercial comes along that renders me speechless and unable to think and I find myself going through a diagnostic, troubleshooting procedure with my brain. Am I offended? I don't think so. Am I amused? Kind of (?). Am I going to buy this product? No, but there was never any danger of that. What exactly do I think of this commercial? I may never be sure.

VH1 to Revive Behind the Music

Exciting news for pop culture junkies: VH1 is producing brand new episodes of their classic series, Behind the Music, which will premiere this summer.

Dr. Drew Labels Celebrities As Narcissists, In Other News, Grass Is Green And The Sky Is Blue

Science!!! We LOVE science, don't we? Okay, maybe we don't, ever since we handed in that chemistry test sophomore year without a single answer on it. But today we're talking about science that pertains to celebrities, so on we go. I promise there will be no test at the end.

SO! Our dear Silver Fox Dr. Drew Pinsky has written a book, called The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America, describing how many celebrities are narcissists, and therefore dangerous as role models for young people. It's an interesting concept, and says a lot for the behavior that some celebs participate in that make us say "whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut???"

Is Coolio Trying Out for Celeb Rehab 3?

Just in time for the final episode of VH1 Sober House, Coolio was charged Tuesday with possession of crack cocaine. I can't help but wonder — is the "Gangsta's Paradise" singer gunning for a spot on the next Celebrity Rehab?

I mean (duh), there is obviously going to be a Celebrity Rehab 3, right? That show is like crack — pardon my insensitivity to those actually addicted to crack — and the ratings are through the roof, so they'd be fools not to renew. It's really just a question of when and, of course, who will be checking in. Coolio is a definite contender now, but who else might we next see checking into Pasadena Recovery Center?

Steven Adler Makes Me Want To Cry

You know, when Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew started, I clapped my hands with glee. THIS would be the pinnacle of VH1 entertainment, right? Well, the first season was pretty good, mostly concentrating on Jeff Conaway and his batshit insanity, and season two graced us with both Conaway and Gary Busey, whose insanity is so incredibly deep I went through the entire dictionary trying to come up with a word for it, and I failed miserably. So anyway, it was a good time.

Then we met Steven Adler. And things became less funny. Aaaaaaaand less funny. Now? Adler just got booted out of VH1's Sober House and seriously? He positively makes me want to weep.

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS: Bret Michaels Admits He Has Hair Plugs Extensions

duuuude, Barbie hair on 45-year old dudes is fuckin' AWESOME!!!!

So, because I just CAN NOT SHUT UP about Bret Michaels and his general nastiness, I thought today we could zero in on one of his more superficial areas of nastiness: his hair.

Jezebel had an interesting Bret Michaels hair retrospective yesterday which indicated that, in an interview last April, Bret admitted that his hair-don't is "combined of [his] hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer." While you may not have heard this admission, you may have heard me high-five Miss Banshee from across the country as we simultaneously shrieked, "HA! I KNEW IT!!"

Ladies and germs, please feast your eyes on the FINEST EXTENSIONS IN ALL OF EUROPE:

VH-1 Presents The Most Trainwreckiest Night Of Television EVAR.

My love for VH-1 surreality television knows no bounds. I have at length expounded to faithful MamaPop followers upon the merits of such high-caliber programing as The Pickup Artist, Celebrity Rehab, and everyone's favorite Show-You-Should-Watch-While-Wearing-A-Full-Body-Condom, Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.

But I had no idea that Celebreality could get as awesometastic — as scrumtrulescent — as this past Sunday night on VH-1. The line-up featured the Rock of Love Charm School reunion, followed by the premieres of Confessions of a Teen Idol and the third installment in this century's best romance, Rock of Love. And this time? Those skanks are on a bus, people.  Two buses, to be exact, as one single tour bus could not possibly contain the unholy host of whorers of this season, who are endowed with more silicone, collagen and STIs then the entire San Fernando Valley.

How Procrastination Gave me the Final Word on 2008

While my fellow Mamapoppers were regaling you all week with their top picks of 2008 I sat at my computer paralyzed. I mean, coming up with a list conveys that in some way my opinion matters. Knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are going to be logging on and reading what rocked my world this year was just too daunting. So I procrastinated. And then I realized that you’re just here trying to get the latest scoop on Speidi and couldn’t give a monkey’s butt what I think. Then it became really easy to write.

So without further ado or numbers--

Britney’s Big Comeback
Britney has come a long way since January when she was getting regular rides from ambulance drivers and barred from seeing her children to finishing out the year with liberal visitation rights, snapping her body back into enviable shape and releasing her latest album “Circus.” Dare I say this Pop Princess deserves the title of Comeback Queen?

Celebrity Rehab Is Back - And So Is Jeff Conaway

I just watched the "super trailer" for Celebrity Rehab 2 with Dr. Drew, which premieres Thursday on VH-1, and boy was it ever super. I don't mean to seem like I'm revelling in people's lives falling apart or anything. I think that a lot of the spirit, if not the letter, of Celebrity Rehab is to help show the horrors of addiction and get help for people who need it, and I applaud that, even if some patients are also using it as a springboard back into the limelight. But who's to say we can't enjoy it and even have a chuckle or two?

As heartbreaking and poignant as some moments are, there are also some big laughs to be had at Dr. Drew's Rehab Castle. I didn't watch all of last season, but you can bet your last eight ball I'm watching it this season, for three very ridiculous awesome reasons: