MamaPop™

Kanye West Apologizes For Being A Douche On The VMAs

In case you missed it, from tonight's MTV VMAs:

Kanye West was then escorted from Radio City Music Hall. Shortly thereafter, the following appeared on his blog:

Details on the Bros. Gallagher fight and Oasis Split

These two are the same-sexed version of Ike and Tina. 

Stories about how they stumbled out of a bar and ran into their absentee father and proceeded to whoop him three ways to Sunday were something to snicker at; but their braggadocio ("we're like the Beatles." No, you're not) and the endless slap-fights are making headlines more than their music these days.

It's approaching level "Heidi Montag Annoying."

And I Know God Because of KRS-One

Do you like your religions fresh?  Do you like the word of God dropped? What did you think of R.E.M.'s Radio Song?

If you answered any of the above questions then you are in luck.  KRS-One is starting a new religion and it's both hip and hop. Introducing The Gospel of Hip Hop: The First Instrument, coming soon to a hotel dresser near you.

The tome is 600 pages about the divinity and spirituality of hip-hop, and according to Rev. One, "I'm suggesting that in 100 years, this book will be a new religion on the earth."

Quit Trying to Make Pop Songs Out of Jingles

Remember in Mean Girls, how Gretchen Wieners, Toaster Strudel Heiress, kept trying to make, "fetch" happen? As in, "That is SO fetch!" Until finally Regina George told her, "Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen! It's not going to happen!"

That's how I'm starting to feel about commercials that try to make their jingles into pop culture institutions.

Courtney Love: Tortoise and The Hair Edition

Courtney Love posted photos of herself on Twitter posing with what I AM SURE she thinks is her teacup poodle but in actuality was just a very confused turtle. 

It's unclear whether the turtle is real or not but her drug problem is obviously alive and well.

Courtney is working on her latest album, Nobody's Daughter, due to be released January 1, 2010 after numerous postponements. Courtney has promised us that her new album will sound like "giant black pyramids".  Which probably sounds a lot like giant black tar heroin.

Here is some footage of Courtney discussing her new album.  She does do some math at the 1:13 mark that will probably blow your mind. Also her future project plans include "dying, fucking, killing, or eating" which sounds like a business prospectus if I've ever heard one.

Dolly Parton's New Video Should Be Enjoyed Only On the Radio

Dolly Parton has a new video out and it's absolutely awful. It's for a song called 'Change It' which is exactly what you'll want to do to your TV channel if this video ever comes across your screen.

Look, I'm not hatin' on Dolly, I just think she deserves better. Although I'm not a fan, I know she's got a gazillion of them out there and they should all be hootin' and hollerin' mad that Dolly's record company decided to spend only $15 making this video. At least that's what it looks like. Well, make that $16.95 because it appears they may have sprung for a couple of new wigs for the 'Queen of Country Music.'

Besides the fact that the entire thing takes place in that most-overused of video shoot locations, a photo studio (I'm guessing the local 'real-life recording studio' was booked, as well as the 'empty, gritty warehouse') it contains a number of bizarre costume changes and, inexplicably, a segment where Dolly shaves a guy's head. Hee haw!

Oh My God, What Have They Done To Shakira?

Okay, first things first. The song this video I'm about to share with you is for, "She Wolf"? UNBEARABLE. Listening to it makes me feel like a cartoonishy cliched Old Person, one who might tell those damn kids to turn off that racket, because that's not music that's NOISE, dangnabbit! And while you're at it, all of you, get off my lawn! (Somehow my version of Old Person here is tinged with a hint of Gold Rush-Era Prospector flavor, I don't know why either).

ANYHOO. The video. Right.

I've never been a fan of Shakira, but this? Lawd. Shield your children's eyes and hold onto your lunch.

Breaking! Funny Stuff on the Internet is Still Funny! Sometimes.

There's a lot of funny on the web right now.  This isn't part of it.  Yet.

That's right, buckle up, reader!  I'm bringing funny back.  Those other bitches won't know how to act.  Unless they laugh, which is pretty much what I'm aiming for.

And by bringing funny back I mean I'm going to show you videos and such that other people made and that I find funny.  That's so much easier than being funny myself.

They bet me I couldn't write the word "funny" 10 times in one post. Ha, that's funny.

WTF Happened to Rick Springfield's Face?

When I first saw the latest picture of Rick Springfield I thought the story which accompanied it was some predictable write-up about how Madam Tussaud's was unveiling another new wax figure. Perhaps they even poured a mold for the legendary Jesse's girl, too. 

But oh, wait. My bad. It was ACTUALLY Rick Springfield.

And then I saw the spider on his shirt and wondered if one of the poisonous spiders from "Arachnophobia" had bitten him. Because, HONEY. 

Remember Rick before he played with knives or needles near his face, just remember, and then take the jump.

Posh Spice aka Victoria Beckham to Replace Paula Abdul on American Idol

Since Paula Abdul is leaving American Idol there is a gaping hole where the crazy should go. Who will step up to fill the void? Fear not, Idol fans, Victoria Beckham will be temporarily replacing Abdul.

Even though I have concerns that Beckham is far to sane to really replace Paula Abdul in our hearts she does have that I won't smile or eat on camera thing going so you know she isn't 100%.

German Tabloid Calls Britney Spears Fat

I can't believe I am writing about Britney Spears again either. Even more shocking is the fact that I am about to defend her.

You see, after Britney put on a shitty show in Germany her angry fans told a tabloid magazine that her concert wasn't worth the price of a ticket and that she was fat.

I believe the first part of that. While I will begrudgingly admit that some of the tunes Max Martin wrote for her were infuriatingly catchy, I think Spears is a pretty mediocre singer at best and what I've seen of her stage show on television bores the crap out of me.

But do I think she is fat?

A Brief Tutorial on Crabcore

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I got into some argument about something or other. And as many of our arguments tend to go, it quickly devolved from a spirited debate into, "You're stupid/No, YOU'RE stupid/Your mom!/No, YOUR mom!" And as a method of shutting me down, my husband threatened to litter my Facebook wall with crabcore videos. Deathblow.

What is crabcore, you ask? Allow me to make your reality suck a bit more enlighten you.

Trent Reznor Quits Twitter

Alternately titled: Trent Reznor Takes His Ball and Goes Home.

I'm going to pay the penance of flattery before I say what brought me to write this in the first place: I have all of Reznor's albums; I've seen him in concert repeatedly; I think "The Fragile" ("Halo Fourteen") is one of the best albums ever recorded, period, and remains one of the most under-appreciate albums of our era. 

That being said I find it truly ironic that the king of industrial is such a temperamental nancy.

Death Threats, Britney Spears, and Russia

Which one of you is e-mailing death threats to Britney Spears? I have a guess but I'm not just going to call you out right here on MamaPop.

Somebody somewhere has been e-mailing Brit Brit death threats. They are bothering her enough that she has decided not to take Sean Preston and Jayden James with her on the Circus tour when she goes to Russia.

Finally. Britney shows some signs of brain function when it comes to parenting.

Because really - who here wants to see their mom wearing this anyway?

Paula Abdul To Leave Idol In Hissy Fit Over $$$?

SEE, Seacrest?!?!? See how you make nothing but trouble for all who surround you? I blame you and your enormous paycheck for our latest American Idol dramz. Seacrest is now making gazillions of dollars to stay on as our tiny overlord on AI, and Miss Paula is not happy. No sirree, she's not happy at all, and this could mean that the next season of idol will be sans Ms. Abdul. Say it ain't so!!!

Sadly, this is exactly what her reps are saying, and it seems like Paula is holding out for more cash that...she's probably not going to get. Let's look at the sitch, and see if a big payday is in the cards for our Princess Candypills.

Michael Jackson's Kids Want to Stay With Janet, and So Do I

Amidst the crazy custody battle for Michael Jackson's kids that's heating up between Jackson's mom Katherine and biological mom/dermatologist's assistant/money-grubber Debbie Rowe, another name is popping up as a favored candidate for caregiver - Michael's little sister Janet.

OK! magazine is reporting that Prince, Paris and Blanket all want to live with their Aunt Janet, and who can blame them? She seems like the most normal of the bunch, and has managed to successfully keep her private life under wraps. Also, who wouldn't give their right arm to have the chance to learn from Janet herself all the dance moves from the Pleasure Principal video? Just me? Okay, but you'll be sorry when I call your lame ass out at the next dance-off.

Mel Gibson Directs Music Video for Girlfriend and I Say It's Got to be Love

Any fond memory of Mel Gibson's Mad Max and what he did for my teenage romanticism of the impending apocalypse began to evaporate when Mel went all crazy, but now it's completely disappeared after watching the music video he just directed for his current girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva. Full disclosure: Ms. Grigorieva is also pregnant with his eighth child. Oh how I miss the Cold War!

I figured I couldn't really comment on the video without actually watching the product of the love bird collaboration, so I watched it. There may have been extended pauses due to boredom but I've got to admit, I really didn't see the flaming keys coming. He really caught me by surprise there so way to keep the audience on their toes. Actually, I'm not sure who the target audience is for this thing, but I'm pretty sure it's not teenagers. Or fans of Apocolypto.