MamaPop™

Is Lily Allen Fleeing the Scene?

Lily Allen, the über-cute British songstress of such well-known songs as "Smile" and "Fuck You", has declared that she is not going to record a third album and has no plans to tour again in the near future.

To this a wail a hearty NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I love me some Lily Allen. I love that her sweet voice belies the punch of her lyrics. I love that her British accent still comes through when she sings. I love her sometimes whimsical sense of style. Not so secretly, I like to dream that she and I meet up for pints with sides of mushy peas and jaw about the racket that is selling creative products. Lily and I duck out for a smoke, and she laughs at the impotence warning on my Canadian cigarettes package. Of course, she finds none of this creepy. Imagination is a wonderful thing.

Here's traumatic news Allen allegedly wrote on her weblog about her decision:

Being On Top of Marilyn Monroe is Still an Option

I know that your own burial arrangements probably aren't what you were thinking about working on this morning, but this is a once in a life time opportunity: YOU could be entombed right above Marilyn Monroe!

This unique opening is made possible by the widow of the corpse that was formerly interred directly above Marilyn Monroe and the magic of eBay.

As of 10:00 am EST the current bid is $4,601,900.00.

Muse Unveils New, Face-Melting Album

One of my top three favorite bands of all time, Muse, have announced that they will release their fifth album this September, entitled: "The Resistance."

They've also announced the dates of the European leg of the tour and let it be known now that if Muse does not come to St. Louis that my head will explode into a fiery ball of rage replete with confetti embers.

That Muse is coming out with a fifth album or will be playing an American leg of "The Resistance" tour isn't even the most mind-blowing part of this. The mind-blowing part is that Muse will tour with none of than U2 for many North American dates, the first of which is New York on September 24th.

Summer Season Passes: What You Watch When There's Nothing Else to Watch

So, now all the big! season! finales! are over and the cliffhangers are hanging and in the Olden Days we would take the lack of new primetime television as a sign that it was time to take a walk OUTSIDE, or some such crazy shit. Now we just turn on our television and curse out the TiVo for recording nothing but Yo Gabba Gabba and the 40th rerun of last Friday's episode of The Soup and that one weird show about the model trains that your father-in-law figured out how to record that one time.

And then we start searching for our Summer show. You know what I mean. It's rarely a show that's actually ON in the summer, but some other show that you've never seen and is now in reruns so eh, you'll give it a try. Or some really random show on some random cable network that airs like, seven episodes a day so you get a little obsessed with it and watch it every night, episode after episode, drinking in the bounty which shall never end, mwa ha ha...until you blow through every goddamn season and episode in like, three weeks flat and it's not even the end of June.

That last kind of show? I HAS ONE.

One More Reason To Love Lily Allen, And Another To Fear Posh Spice

I don't have anything against Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham, really. I mean, sure: she dresses like an out-of-work dominatrix and has boobs that look like squashed baby heads and never smiles and sometimes hangs out with Katie Holmes (tolerance of the presence of cyborgs being, arguably, evidence of some lack of judgment) and once publicly compared her husband's man-bits to a 'tractor exhaust pipe', but still. I'm sure that she's a very nice person, underneath it all.

But that doesn't mean that I didn't make a little snort-giggle noise when I read this:

Cat Stevens Could Be Next To Sue Coldplay for Plagiarism

Hey kids, did you know about the latest trend? Why, it's all the rage with the celebs! You may think I'm talking about adopting kids from Africa, but that's so 2005. No, the craze that's hip with all the celebs these days is suing Coldplay!

Six months ago, Joe Satriani filed a plagiarism suit against Coldplay, accusing the overrated, pretentious-as-fuck Britpop band of ripping the melody for "Viva La Vida" from Satriani's 2004 song, "If I Could Fly." As previously discussed here at MamaPop, the two songs are indeed eerily similar, and that's being kind. However, Yusuf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens, says that, actually, he's the one who was ripped off.

Lamest or Most Brilliant Advertising Ever: Twilight "Eyeverts"

I feel ripped off: here in the states for the DVD release we didn't have anything fancy like this. For the UK Twilight DVD release Summit hired a bunch of male models, fixed them up to look like Edward Cullen, and had them wear gold - nay, smoldering golden, a la Meyer - contact lenses, a.k.a. "eyeverts" which revealed details of the DVD. The models then were unleashed into the streets where they tried to make eye contact with unsuspecting females.

I don't know about you, but if a dude obviously wearing contacts with an Edward complex tried glaring at me in the street, my first thought would likely be psycho killah! and not "Twilight." Check out the commercial after the jump.

The Stone Roses Are Reuniting, I Am Officially Old

It's likely that most of the people reading this won't know who the hell The Stone Roses are, but for the five of you who, like me, are well into your doddering decrepitude, this news will bring back memories of an age in your life when you frequently went to bed AFTER 10pm and were able to drink more than two alcoholic beverages in a single evening without suffering a raging hangover the next day.

Ahh, memories.

ANYWAY, yes, according to The Mirror, "21 gigs have been planned for the UK and there are talks of a US date - possibly the Coachella Festival in California." I'll believe it when I see it, honestly. But saaaay, wasn't it just about a year ago that another prominent band from that era reunited? Coincidence -- OR CONSPIRACY?

Bottomline, this dubious reunion story gives me an excuse to post the following video and do a little nostalgic shoegazing dance in the privacy of my own living room. Please to enjoy:

Oh, hey, guess what? Organized religion has all of sudden realized that it's not the only opiate of the masses!

According to USA Today, a top Roman Catholic somebody or other is all up in arms about the fact that most kids would rather go to Disneyland than to church:

In a stunning move that is sure to incite protests all over the internet, YouTube has removed all Rickroll videos from their site.

One of the things I love about Amy Winehouse is how she seems to open her door to whoever rings the bell. Yeah, okay, that means we get pictures of her taking out the garbage at one in the morning. But the neighborhood kids who want her to sign their skateboards and bongos don't care, they just knock on her door and there she is in all her beehived glory.

Amy also appears not to give a crap about some sort of feud she's supposed to be having with Beyonce over who's going to sing the title song of the next Bond film, saying, “I’ve done loads of Bond songs. There are loads of good ones I’m really happy with. I don’t know what is wrong with them or what the problem is, to be honest. It’s there, ready and done, and it’s up to them if they want it or not.”

Well, one of the problems is that the straight-arrow guy sent over by your record company to keep an eye on you just got busted for crack and everyone's blaming your corrupting influence.

The other problem is this crazy blue video with the one-day-old baby mice that you did with Pete Doherty, in all its YouTubeliciousness, after the jump.

The tugboat of gossip has run aground on rumor beach, where we find Madonna and Guy Ritchie sunbathing on separate towels. The Daily Mail today posted a two-mile-long article that teases apart the fraying threads of Madge's slowly unraveling marriage to her formerly-interesting filmmaker husband.

The two are pictured recently at Cannes, where rumor has it that Guy was stuffed into a tuxedo and wheeled out like a prop husband for a screening of Madonna's heartfelt new documentary about orphans in Malawi.

He was probably just bored because her movie was full of women and children, and she refused to let Benecio del Toro do a cameo as a gun-toting Orthodox Jew.

The Huffington Post reports that Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is now old enough to take off his invisibility cloak and bare his googlie-mooglies when he brings the play Equus to Broadway in September. Dreams do come true! Actually, for my dream to really come true there'd be room for Ron Weasley in that barn as well, and Sirius Black and even poor consumptive sexy Professor Lupin.

Oh, dear. Where was I? I think I was looking at this picture of naked Potter leaning tenderly against a horse and wondering how many American teenagers are trying to figure out how they could do the same thing for their yearbook photo.

For those of us mourning the loss of Extras after a mere two seasons, all is not lost.  Britannia is a-buzz with news of an Extras Christmas Special.  The line-up is chocca with celebs, all obviously chomping at the bit to lampoon themselves alongside Gervais and Merchant. 

The teaser for the episode includes a clip where Clive Owen eyes up Maggie as his 'prostitute' in a costume drama and declares "I wouldn't pay for it."  George Michael is found cruising for c*ck at Hampstead Heath, and Barry Off Eastenders shares a tender moment with Darren Lamb (Steve Merchant).  It's like the celebrities never stop!

(teaser after the jump..)

While people across American ready themselves for a holiday of togetherness and warmth, here in England it's another national pastime that brings a sense of unity.  I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!-- a show that distinctly tanked a few years back in Yankyville, in Britain has taken on popularity so tremendous that even my mother can be heard to talk feverishly about which cast member might have to chow down a kangaroo's penis or emu's anus this week (I kid you not). 

Millions of Brits tune into the show each and every day, and watch voyeuristically while a group of very bored, not-even-D-list celebrities try and get on together in the depths of an Australian jungle.  Meanwhile, the British public votes for who they want to see undertake 'challenges' (this is where the penises and stuff come in).

Top UK news this weekend revolved around the break-up of Prince Harry from his girlfriend of three years, Chelsy Davy.  Love apparently stayed aflame when the two of them were separated by a continent, but in September, Zimbabwean Chelsy moved from her home in Cape Town, South Africa to start a law degree at Leeds University and to be "closer to her beau." 

Since then it's all gone pear-shaped (as my Mum would say) and she's packed her bags and headed home with a broken heart...

Why did she dump him?  Every tabloid has its own take.  A list of her reasons (allegedly) after the jump...

Britain's New Music Express released their 2007 "Cool List" this week and who the hell are all these people? Are they all British or something?

I find it hilarious that the head of the list, the Teutonically-tattooed Frank Carter of the band Gallows, is allegedly making punk "cool" again, because last I heard punk was so 1977, kids, and no matter how many eyes you poke out with your faux-hawk, you're still the cultural equivalent of a tie-dyed Deadhead crying himself to sleep clutching a bootlegged cassette of Winterland '78.

Amy Winehouse rocketed up the list (she was dead last in 2006) to land in the #8 spot, but my favorite ranking is the fact that Brandon Flowers' mustache comes in at #18, while Flowers himself was only able to claw his way up to #44. So let's take a look at the rest of the list, shall we?

This Just In: Disney Is The Opiate Of The Masses. In Other News, Dumbo Is Gay

Oh, hey, guess what? Organized religion has all of sudden realized that it's not the only opiate of the masses!

According to USA Today, a top Roman Catholic somebody or other is all up in arms about the fact that most kids would rather go to Disneyland than to church:

YouTube Removes Rick Roll Videos!

In a stunning move that is sure to incite protests all over the internet, YouTube has removed all Rickroll videos from their site.

Amy Winehouse, Uh, Wow.

One of the things I love about Amy Winehouse is how she seems to open her door to whoever rings the bell. Yeah, okay, that means we get pictures of her taking out the garbage at one in the morning. But the neighborhood kids who want her to sign their skateboards and bongos don't care, they just knock on her door and there she is in all her beehived glory.

Amy also appears not to give a crap about some sort of feud she's supposed to be having with Beyonce over who's going to sing the title song of the next Bond film, saying, “I’ve done loads of Bond songs. There are loads of good ones I’m really happy with. I don’t know what is wrong with them or what the problem is, to be honest. It’s there, ready and done, and it’s up to them if they want it or not.”

Well, one of the problems is that the straight-arrow guy sent over by your record company to keep an eye on you just got busted for crack and everyone's blaming your corrupting influence.

The other problem is this crazy blue video with the one-day-old baby mice that you did with Pete Doherty, in all its YouTubeliciousness, after the jump.

Madonna on the Way to Trial Separation?

The tugboat of gossip has run aground on rumor beach, where we find Madonna and Guy Ritchie sunbathing on separate towels. The Daily Mail today posted a two-mile-long article that teases apart the fraying threads of Madge's slowly unraveling marriage to her formerly-interesting filmmaker husband.

The two are pictured recently at Cannes, where rumor has it that Guy was stuffed into a tuxedo and wheeled out like a prop husband for a screening of Madonna's heartfelt new documentary about orphans in Malawi.

He was probably just bored because her movie was full of women and children, and she refused to let Benecio del Toro do a cameo as a gun-toting Orthodox Jew.

Radcliffe Makes Nude Broadway Debut

The Huffington Post reports that Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is now old enough to take off his invisibility cloak and bare his googlie-mooglies when he brings the play Equus to Broadway in September. Dreams do come true! Actually, for my dream to really come true there'd be room for Ron Weasley in that barn as well, and Sirius Black and even poor consumptive sexy Professor Lupin.

Oh, dear. Where was I? I think I was looking at this picture of naked Potter leaning tenderly against a horse and wondering how many American teenagers are trying to figure out how they could do the same thing for their yearbook photo.

Christmas Will Be Extras Special This Year....

For those of us mourning the loss of Extras after a mere two seasons, all is not lost.  Britannia is a-buzz with news of an Extras Christmas Special.  The line-up is chocca with celebs, all obviously chomping at the bit to lampoon themselves alongside Gervais and Merchant. 

The teaser for the episode includes a clip where Clive Owen eyes up Maggie as his 'prostitute' in a costume drama and declares "I wouldn't pay for it."  George Michael is found cruising for c*ck at Hampstead Heath, and Barry Off Eastenders shares a tender moment with Darren Lamb (Steve Merchant).  It's like the celebrities never stop!

(teaser after the jump..)

America's First Supermodel Could Use Some Metamucil Right Now...

While people across American ready themselves for a holiday of togetherness and warmth, here in England it's another national pastime that brings a sense of unity.  I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!-- a show that distinctly tanked a few years back in Yankyville, in Britain has taken on popularity so tremendous that even my mother can be heard to talk feverishly about which cast member might have to chow down a kangaroo's penis or emu's anus this week (I kid you not). 

Millions of Brits tune into the show each and every day, and watch voyeuristically while a group of very bored, not-even-D-list celebrities try and get on together in the depths of an Australian jungle.  Meanwhile, the British public votes for who they want to see undertake 'challenges' (this is where the penises and stuff come in).

Prince Harry Dumped by Long-term Girfriend. Aww. Come to Mama!

Top UK news this weekend revolved around the break-up of Prince Harry from his girlfriend of three years, Chelsy Davy.  Love apparently stayed aflame when the two of them were separated by a continent, but in September, Zimbabwean Chelsy moved from her home in Cape Town, South Africa to start a law degree at Leeds University and to be "closer to her beau." 

Since then it's all gone pear-shaped (as my Mum would say) and she's packed her bags and headed home with a broken heart...

Why did she dump him?  Every tabloid has its own take.  A list of her reasons (allegedly) after the jump...

NME Releases Long List of People I've Never Heard Of

Britain's New Music Express released their 2007 "Cool List" this week and who the hell are all these people? Are they all British or something?

I find it hilarious that the head of the list, the Teutonically-tattooed Frank Carter of the band Gallows, is allegedly making punk "cool" again, because last I heard punk was so 1977, kids, and no matter how many eyes you poke out with your faux-hawk, you're still the cultural equivalent of a tie-dyed Deadhead crying himself to sleep clutching a bootlegged cassette of Winterland '78.

Amy Winehouse rocketed up the list (she was dead last in 2006) to land in the #8 spot, but my favorite ranking is the fact that Brandon Flowers' mustache comes in at #18, while Flowers himself was only able to claw his way up to #44. So let's take a look at the rest of the list, shall we?