Here's some input I didn't really need: Steve Carr, the d-bag responsible for Paul Blart: Mall Cop, has been signed by Dimension Films to direct a remake of Short Circuit, the 1986 sci-fi-lite flick in which a robot out-acted Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy, which is almost an impressive feat.
Can you see Edward Cullen - I mean Robert Pattinson - cast as Prince Harry? Me neither, but it might happen.
Peter Kosminsky is working on casting his new movie called "The Spare" about Prince Harry's life.
There is nothing like a bio-pic of a 25 year old that hasn't actually done anything yet. It sounds fascinating.
Also considered for the role:
When does the hurting stop? Why have we not risen as one to stop this plague of madness? And today, as we cope with tragedy, we must ask: how many lives must be lost before Kevin James is stopped from ever making a movie again?
Granted, it's not quite as wrenching as the events that took place in Chicago last July, when a perfectly innocent Sparklecorn was torn apart and eaten by an angry mob like something out of Tennessee Williams, but nevertheless I think I speak for all of humanity when I say that when a Kevin James movie kills a giraffe... society as we know it has gone too far.
I know that normally a True Blood recap goes in this slot, but you'll have to forgive me as I am currently vacationing with family and do not have cable or internet. Next week, we'll be back in business. Pinky swear!
In the meantime let's direct our attention to something else that is awesome and perhaps a little creepy: Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.
Kidlets, have you ever said to yourselves "Gee whiz, I wonder what Johnny Depp is doing today?" Our Dear Johnny has been a busy boy as of late, and since I see his gorgeous yet somewhat creepy face (love it!) everywhere I go on zee internet today, I thought that it would be a good idea to give y'all an update on what Mr. Depp has been up to in the last week. Hint: It's a lot.
Although Johnny is not an OFFICIAL MamaPop boyfriend, I don't think there will be much complaining about pictures and snippets about what is in his Blackberry under "Schedule: Be Awesome." Perhaps this will also convince Deppie to list "Sweep Miss Banshee off feet; Ravish accordingly" to said Blackberry.
But I digress. On we go!
For the second time this year, a sports team in my home city, Pittsburgh, won a major championship and provided me with at least a week of sports-related good mood when the Pittsburgh Penguins brought home the Stanley Cup. Of course, the win itself was awesome and capped off a truly exciting season and getting to celebrate has been terrific. But one of the best parts of a big sports event are the montages. I. Love. Montages.
The early 90s were a weird time in the U.S. We were emerging from the ickiness of the 80s and the 90s spread in front of us, full of possibility and the promise of a new millennium. The optimism of the that time was a breeding ground for trends like Hypercolor (why have a shirt that's just one color when it can be multiple colors depending on who's fondling your boobs?), wearing clothes backwards (Reagan's gone! I'm totally Krossed out!), and, of course, Hammer pants (it's the 90s! Let's get billowy!).
Hammer pants were brought to us by super-positive rapper MC Hammer, whose career became a cautionary tale of quick fortunes when, just six years after the mind-boggling international success of his album Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em, he filed bankruptcy due to being $13 million in debt.
Here is some news I'm not too sure how to feel about: director Robert Rodriguez is said to be reviving the Predator franchise and is already working on a full-length feature of Machete, which was one of the fake trailers in between Planet Terror and Death Proof in the theatrical release of Grindhouse.
We here are MamaPop are definitely foodies. At our dinner in Las Vegas, Schmutzie and Palinode shared a piece of cheese with a thick layer of ash running through it, eyes rolling back into their heads in ecstasy. KDiddy dined on trout, unfazed by the head that was still attached. Miss Banshee savored duck paté and duck breast to match. I raved over escargot served with puff pastry.
We watch Top Chef like some people watch porn. WE LIKEY FOOD.
But are some foods just...not okay? As despicable as PETA can often be, they have in the past produced compelling video evidence that some foods are just beyond cruel. Veal penning was a big hot topic a decade ago, and now, perhaps the trendiest of trendy foods, foie gras, is the focus. But is foie gras cruel?
You know what was super-keen? Growing up in the early/mid 80s. We had ridiculous music, even more ridiculous clothes (Osh Kosh represent!) and we had movies. Oooooooh we had movies. Weird movies! Movies that we saw in the theaters that gave us nightmares, but we lied! To our parents! And told them those movies DIDN'T give us nightmares, we were FINE, we weren't staying up all night under the covers with a flashlight because the Skeksis were in the closet, noooooooo!
Movies like The Dark Crystal, The Star Wars trilogy (I, uh, don't need to specify which ones, do I? Okay, good,) Labyrinth, Legend...All those cheesy and beloved fantasy movies from the 1980's, man. They were the best. So what's Hollywood doing today?
They're re-making The NeverEnding Story, y'all, and there is NO WAY this will end well.
Lady Sovereign - I Got You Dancing
Also, this chick, Lady Sovereign, sucks. I really wanted to post this video which is nothing more than a wretched, messy amalgam of "Beat It" and "Thriller" mixed in with Bratz Doll, heinous choreography, and football makeup.
But then I heard her robot voice and it got me to thinking. The robot voice is courtesy of Auto-Tune, a pitch-correcting plug-in producers use when their artists sing like crap and can't stay on key. Cher first abused Auto-Tune with "If You Believe in Life After Love" when she used Auto-Tune on her vocals throughout the entire song. (It wasn't Devo, as some have blasphemed; they used a vocoder, not Auto-Tune; anyway, Mark Mothersbaugh is a god who needs not to abuse such sonic tools.)
For whatever reason, a bunch of musicians heard this and, instead of recoiling from the radio and clutching their ears in pain as I did, they thought "WELL GOL-LEE, can I get this fancy technology on my next album?"
Okay, so I've been slogging through union jargon all day, trying to figure out what a strike from the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) would mean for the masses. I now present you with a helpful guide as to what this would mean for all us slaves to the screen, why there is the threat of the strike, and the difficulties involved. All here for you in a handy dandy list, so the shrieks of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" and "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!!!!" that were sonic booming when the writers went on strike last year can be a little better informed, if not less frantic. And keep breathing, they ain't on strike just yet.
Mon dieu! Filming was suspended on John Travolta’s latest movie, From Paris With Love, because 10 cars were set aflame by unknown arsonists on location outside Paris.
For those of you who think Paris is just about pretension and jaunty scarves think again. There are some housing projects that are so seriously terrifying they put some of our worst “hoods” to shame. This incident took place in one of the worst of the worst.
Robert Downey Jr. is a recovering drug addict. Enough said.
Now, can we move on to the fact that he may just be the best actor of our generation?
Anyone who saw him in Chaplin will back me up. His ability to embody any character he plays is as evident in that film as it was in Tropic Thunder. “What do you mean YOU people?”
Let us now worship at the feet of Jon Favereau, the director of a little summer Indie called Iron Man, for casting Robert Downey Jr., against many protests by the studio. I think we can all agree that turned out ok.
Legend has it that Downey Jr. all but paid to be in the movie on account of the fact that he was virtually uninsurable.
And now, he is in the position that he so richly deserves, Hollywood Golden Boy, with the keys to the proverbial castle. And the castle he has chosen -- Sherlock Holmes, with Guy Richie directing.
MAMAPOP IS SMART POP CULTURE ANALYSIS, COMMENTARY, MERCILESS FUN-MAKING AND OTHER SUNDRY AWESOME, DISHED UP DAILY BY PARENTS, FOR PARENTS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT PLAYTIME IS BETTER WITH VODKA. PLEASE TO ENJOY. READ MORE...
