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August 25, 2009

And I Know God Because of KRS-One

Krs-one-gospel-hip-hop Do you like your religions fresh?  Do you like the word of God dropped? What did you think of R.E.M.'s Radio Song?

If you answered any of the above questions then you are in luck.  KRS-One is starting a new religion and it's both hip and hop. Introducing The Gospel of Hip Hop: The First Instrument, coming soon to a hotel dresser near you.

The tome is 600 pages about the divinity and spirituality of hip-hop, and according to Rev. One, "I'm suggesting that in 100 years, this book will be a new religion on the earth."

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August 21, 2009

Dolly Parton's New Video Should Be Enjoyed Only On the Radio

Dolly-parton-change-it-video Dolly Parton has a new video out and it's absolutely awful. It's for a song called 'Change It' which is exactly what you'll want to do to your TV channel if this video ever comes across your screen.

Look, I'm not hatin' on Dolly, I just think she deserves better. Although I'm not a fan, I know she's got a gazillion of them out there and they should all be hootin' and hollerin' mad that Dolly's record company decided to spend only $15 making this video. At least that's what it looks like. Well, make that $16.95 because it appears they may have sprung for a couple of new wigs for the 'Queen of Country Music.'

Besides the fact that the entire thing takes place in that most-overused of video shoot locations, a photo studio (I'm guessing the local 'real-life recording studio' was booked, as well as the 'empty, gritty warehouse') it contains a number of bizarre costume changes and, inexplicably, a segment where Dolly shaves a guy's head. Hee haw!

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April 23, 2009

Auto Tune: Everything Sounds Better!

Auto-tune There may be nothing more grating than Auto Tune as its recently been deployed -- nay, applied to the listening public's collective skullcase with a sledgehammer -- in hip-hop and pop music lately. GRANTED. But I for one welcome the LOLs now being generated by the Auto Tune backlash and it's fine video products. Join me for a sampling of teh funneh after the jump, won't you?

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April 13, 2009

Perry Farrell Turns 50 In Las Vegas

Perry farrell billy idolPerry Farrell celebrated his 50th birthday on April 11th in a way only he could. By partying down at the Mirage in Las Vegas, hosting what he'd dubbed Perrypalooza. Joining him on stage were all the members of both Porno For Pyros and Jane's Addiction.

The concerts were open to the public, but with just 400 tickets sold at $100 a piece (pretty reasonable, considering), not many people got to experience the event.

Farrell did bring out all of his celebrity friends, however. The likes of Billy Idol, Juliette Lewis, Rosanna Arquette, Dave Navarro and more were on hand to rock out with the birthday boy.

And those of us with old P4P tapes just died a little more inside at the reminder of just how old we truly are.

April 08, 2009

File Under: Oh Sure, Why The Hell Not - Franz Ferdinand Covers Britney Spears' "Womanizer"

Thus proving that Franz Ferdinand can make any song sound EXACTLY like Franz Ferdinand:

Someone should give them some death metal, see if they can Ferdinandize THAT.

Twas recorded for the BBC Live Lounge program. And sure, it's a bit messy in parts, but overall I deem it to be filled with gratuitous amounts o' win.

ETA: The MP3 sounds even better!



February 13, 2009

Yep, Chris Brown Still a Giant Douchebag

Rihanna

Cops are now investigating whether or not Rihanna's eye injury - for which she wore the rhinestone-encrusted eyepatch above at an MTV Music Awards performance - is due to a previous bust up with woman-beater Chris Brown.

Speaking of Brown, the singer made his first statement since the incident with the same class shown to his girlfriend.

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December 31, 2008

Billy Bob Thornton Throws a Tantrum

Billy_bob_thornton Does anyone seriously care about this be-goated, freeze-dried wart?

Billy Bob Thornton was on Canadian radio yesterday and because CBC radio host introduced Thornton as an actor before discussing the music stuff - which Thornton had apparently asked the DJ, Jian Ghomeshi, not to do - Thornton threw a kitten fit in studio because he felt that Ghomeshi suggested that his music was a hobby. Instead of the most greatest awesome band in the Milk Way, apparently.

Watch the freeze-dried action after the jump.

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December 15, 2008

Please Stop with the Robot Voice

Lady Sovereign - I Got You Dancing

Also, this chick, Lady Sovereign, sucks. I really wanted to post this video which is nothing more than a wretched, messy amalgam of "Beat It" and "Thriller" mixed in with Bratz Doll, heinous choreography, and football makeup.

But then I heard her robot voice and it got me to thinking. The robot voice is courtesy of Auto-Tune, a pitch-correcting plug-in producers use when their artists sing like crap and can't stay on key. Cher first abused Auto-Tune with "If You Believe in Life After Love" when she used Auto-Tune on her vocals throughout the entire song. (It wasn't Devo, as some have blasphemed; they used a vocoder, not Auto-Tune; anyway, Mark Mothersbaugh is a god who needs not to abuse such sonic tools.)

For whatever reason, a bunch of musicians heard this and, instead of recoiling from the radio and clutching their ears in pain as I did, they thought "WELL GOL-LEE, can I get this fancy technology on my next album?"

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December 02, 2008

Which is More Hilarious? The Fact that Paris Made Another Album or That No One Wants to Release it?

Seg5_01

Wow, Paris Hilton has just finished her second album. Man, it feels like just yesterday that I was not buying her first.

After selling only 180,000 copies of her self-titled debut album, which frankly is about 179,900 more than I would have expected (what, she has at least a hundred people on her payroll), Warner Bros. Records and Paris decided to “take some time apart.” Then Warner Bros. immediately changed their phone number and moved.

In a recent interview Paris revealed that her new album is “very dance (did they make that an adjective and nobody told me?), like Kylie Minogue. I wrote all the songs,” Paris proclaimed proudly.

I know! That’s incredible! Paris can write?

The first single off her next album is “My BFF” which, coincidentally, is also the theme song for her MTV show “My New BFF.” 

Song and lyrics, after the jump--see ya there...

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October 23, 2008

Cougars of the World Rejoice! David Cook's Debut Album "Drops" Next Month

David_cook1

What is it about David Cook that makes women (of a certain age) swoon? I believe we’re called “Cougars.” Guilty as mmmrrrreoooowww charged.

I mean it’s not his looks per se. He’s cute, but in a baby chic sort of way. I think it’s his quiet confidence, his subtle sexuality and his awesome set of pipes. His voice can range from sweet as a lullaby to as hard edged as an ax. I dig that.

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October 04, 2008

Beth O. Married Howard Stern, Does That Make Her "The Queen of All Media?"

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With a never ending parade of strippers, porn stars and Sybian rides, there seems to be very little that makes Howard Stern uncomfortable when it comes to women. Except maybe marrying another one.   

After his divorce from Alison Bern in 2001 he swore he would never get married again.

Well, never say never. Last night, in an intimate ceremony at swank-o-licious Le Cirque restaurant in New York, Howard Stern and his girlfriend of eight years, Beth Ostrosky, got hitched.

But enough about him, let’s talk about me. I have loved Howard Stern for more than twenty years; however, as a 39-year-old, suburban “soccer mom,” I’d sooner admit to genital warts than to being a loyal long-time listener of “The King of All Media.”

Now I know a lot of you may be horrified and will unleash the tedious tirade: “Blah blah blah sexist, blah blah blah racist, Anti-Christ, blah blah pig...” All right Sister McJudgey the truth is--you just don’t get it.

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August 19, 2008

More Fresh Hell from Heidi Montag

Heidimontagpinkbikini_3

Heidi Montag has three goals in life: making sure that John McCain wins the presidency, convincing people that she and Spencer are made of actual flesh and bone and not circuit boards and chicken bits, and driving me to drink earlier and earlier in the day.

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July 22, 2008

Douchebag of the Week: Michael Savage

Wcdouchebag

If I had to say one nice thing about Michael Savage—like, say, if you held a loaded gun to my head—I guess I would say he's the sort of man who sticks by what he says and never wavers.

Even when what he's said is irresponsible, inaccurate and downright offensive, such as his claim that "99 out of 100" cases of autism are actually just brats with bad parents.

The inflammatory statements, which have already cost Savage a few endorsements, were made on Savage's radio show on Wednesday. Continuing with his long-running shtick of acting like a gigantic asshat, he suggested that for most children diagnosed with autism the real problem is, "they don’t have a father around to tell them, ‘Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.’ ”

Yesterday, Savage defended those statements on his own show and Larry King Live, adding that his comments were "meant to boldly awaken parents and children to the medical community's attempt to label too many children or adults as 'autistic.'" Oh, I get it, he's trying to help parents by telling them they should call their children idiots and morons. I was confused.

At this time I feel it's important and completely germane to remark that Michael's given last name is Weiner.

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November 27, 2007

Bargain Basement Bossy: Hazy with a Chance of Jazz.

Weatherchanneljazz
Fans of the Weather Channel may recognize that what distinguishes their local forecast—Local on the 8s—from their other weather features is the loop of music meant to draw your attention to the TV six times an hour to find out if that umbrella or ice scraper or sun visor is really a good idea after all.

Well. Apparently over the years many Weather Channel fans got all jazzed-up about these musical selections, phoning and emailing the station to find out more about the specific artists and song titles. And so the station began to make their playlist available to these fans, and the next thing you know musicians are sending their recordings to the Weather Channel’s musical director, and the next thing you know—well, guess.

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April 04, 2007

Heather Mills Breaks Down

Heather Mills broke down yesterday on-air with Ryan Seacrest after a caller declared Mills "misunderstood" and "falsely treated".

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March 23, 2007

For my fellow This American Life freaks

Here's the first part of really great video series with Ira Glass on Storytelling:

Go here to watch all four parts.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Ira Glass? The rest of you betches best step off both him AND Jon Stewart. I call dibs! DIBS, DAMMIT!!!

PS: Did anyone else see the TAL TV show on Showtime (premiered last night, but I got it via a very generous MamaPop reader this morning)? What did you think?

EDIT: You can watch the full first episode of the TAL show here! Woot!

March 16, 2007

Submitted for your approval/disapproval

Math proves that the entire Buffy universe contains no more than 512 vampires. Am I the only one who feels, well, just a leeetle bit cheated?

This one goes out to viewers of The Wire in the hiz-ouse (thanks, Wood!).

The Apple iPhone: is there anything it can't do?

In case anyone out there still gives a damn: Lindsey Lohan is, yet again, drunk and obnoxious!

You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll touch your soul: Kid Logic, from TAL. I wept like a baby while playing to this on my iPod at the gym this week. Listen up!

The Onion hilariously nails The Secret in this infographic.



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