So, it seems Heidi and Spencer aren't content acting like the worst-matched couple in reality-television history on "The Hills" alone each week and would prefer to "branch out" to a show of their very own. Because, OH YES, that's precisely what this world needs: a little more Heidi and Spencer.
Well, not really, but in a viral promotion video for a short film collaboration between the two, Jonze answers the eternal question that Rick James reportedly posed to Charlie Murphy one night, long ago, in the China Club. That question, of course, being, "What did the five fingers say to the face?"
Well, well, so I was right. In a signed affidavit, Mayumi Heene, the mother of "Balloon Boy," admitted the whole nonsense was a hoax in order to get the family more media attention for a reality show. Dad still isn't talking.
As long as there are people with bad ideas and it is legal to outfit other people with bad ideas with tattoo guns, we will have bad tattoos, and, man, are there some bad tattoos out there. Even Hayden Panettiere's got one. I feel for her, though, because I, too, had a brain fart in my youth, and now I've got my own slightly embarrassing butt tattoo. Here, let me show you it...
Because I am a frazzled working mom, I'm often way behind on seeing movies with smaller releases. This obviously applies to documentaries since I'm not in a huge release market and these things tend to fly through theaters anyway.
Thankfully, Netflix (and other such services) exist, so I'm able to catch up on some of the awesome stuff that I miss. Most recently, I rented and adored two documentaries that are about subjects so very micro that they're almost ridiculous: Helvetica (the font) and Donkey Kong.
If you live in Hungary and really want to be in a beauty pageant but you are ugly - or even slightly sub-standard looking, fear not, there is an event just for you.
Well, fear not if you have piles of money.
The Miss Plastic Hungary pageant actually requires that a contestant has had extensive surgical enhancement to qualify.
Oh how I wish I were making this up.
No, really. Make yourself right at home, Lady. Seems that you fit right in, what with, you know, the horrible massacres of Hello Kitty dolls and all.
Whether it's alcohol, cocaine, plastic surgery, or just good old fashioned The Crazy, some stars just can't seem to keep it together. It goes to show you that money can't buy good taste. Or judgment. Or sometimes even pants.
Let's start with a New York Fashion Week after party where one miss Lady Gaga showed us her va-jay-jay. (It could've been worse. It could've been her pe-jay-jay. Must be nice for her to have a choice.)
She's such a mess that I sort of love her.
More celeb disasters after the jump.
We've always thought of Hollywood as a magical land of make-believe, where dreams come to life and anything that can be imagined can be made real on the screen. But in a stunning new twist that seems to defy the generally acknowledged laws of the space-time continuum, Mel Gibson has suddenly and miraculously gone back in time and stopped himself from driving drunk.
As MamaPop's Jodifur reported only a week ago, onetime idol of millions Gibson has been seeking to have his DUI expunged from the legal record, as is apparently the right of first-time DUI convictees who manage to make their way successfully through court-ordered meetings and public service. On Tuesday, that wish was granted by a California judge.
A thought occurred to me as I was watching Lady Gaga perform on SNL this weekend, bedecked in a functioning gyroscope and no pants. This chick is awesome. I want her to be my tiny friend, and I will carry her around in a Bedazzled baby carriage as she throws glitter and fake blood on passers-by. Our love is deep and true, Gaga and me. She will be Sparkle Princess of Unicorn Land, and we will all be her minions, mark my words.
But there's more to Lady Gaga than just the bizarro outfits and on-stage shenanigans. Girl can sing, and she proved that this past weekend on SNL.
It's time once again for the Friday Combo Platter, the weekly feature in which we highlight our favorite LOL-or-WTF-worthy comments and our favorite email thread from the past seven days.
This week's best email thread was actually born out of what was originally our comment of the week. But the ensuing snark was too funny and another comment came along to take its place. So, let's get to it, shall we?
According to the Associated Press, Jon Gosselin today issued a cease-and-desist order to TLC demanding that they stop filming the popular trainwreck of a show.
Wow, what a shocker. This guy is full of surprises, no? phhhbbbtt.
Details are hazy regarding the specfics of the court order, but TLC is halting production of the show "pending further conversations" between the network and the Gosselins. Frankly, I think someone should have a conversation with Jon Gosselin about how to not be a total dickhead. Howabout having THAT conversation, huh TLC? HUH? grumble.
In response to this development, Kate Gosselin issued a statement saying: "It appears that Jon's priority is Jon and his interests... My priority remains our children and their well being." Oooh, BUUUUURRRN.
Debra Tate, sister to Roman Polanski's late wife Sharon Tate, went on television this morning to let everyone know that Polanski didn't really rape Samantha Geimer in 1977, telling Matt Lauer on the Today show this morning that "it was rape, but it wasn't rape."
Phew! Well, that just clears everything up, doesn't it?
I have this weird idea that a 13-year-old girl is still a minor and that she is not of an age to give consent to vaginal and anal intercourse while under the influence of drugs and alcohol during what is supposed to be a professional photo shoot. Debra Tate, on the other hand, pulls her card as a victims advocate and says that, in Samantha Geimer's case, she could. Seriously. If you don't believe me, here is Debra Tate's interview with Matt Lauer:
I know that she bugs some people but I kind of like Kirsten Dunst. I haven't forgotten how good she was as Claudia in "Interview with the Vampire". I loved "The Virgin Suicides" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and "Bring it On". So why, at 27, is she already resorting to crashing parties to audition for roles?
The rumor is that she crashed a party for Jane Campion because she is dying to get a role in Runaway, a film that Campion is working on that will be based on Alice Munro's book of short stories.
Look, I know that Kanye West is the most epic of epic douchebags, ever. I know that he deserves to be strung and quartered or whatever is the appropriate pop cultural corollary of stringing and quartering. But his little chat with Jay Leno last night? In which Leno invokes his dead mother and asks what would your dead mother have thought about what you did? and basically makes Kanye cry?
That kind of made me feel a little bit sorry for him. Not a lot - say, a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the tiniest smidge, the kind of wee tinge of sympathy that you feel for schoolyard bullies who you know probably just want to be loved even though you also think that they should just be smacked, hard - but a little. A very little. I mean, seriously: his dead mother. Disappointed in him.
That's worse than being called a toolbox (by Pink) or a kitten-stomper (by Katy Perry) any day.
Video after the jump...
FREEZE! DROP THE MOUSE! STEP AWAY FROM THE RED X!
Because you're busted. You're on the internet. Caught red-handed. Stop lying. It makes you look stupid. This post is on the internet. Cyber entrapment? Maybe. But you're here nonetheless. Back in the webs, little fly.
Do you see the picture above? The internet emits addictive rays that addict you in addiction. And yet here you are, thinking it'll never happen to you.
After the jump, print this out and get off the internet, you weak-willed slave who lacks moral fiber.
MAMAPOP IS SMART POP CULTURE ANALYSIS, COMMENTARY, MERCILESS FUN-MAKING AND OTHER SUNDRY AWESOME, DISHED UP DAILY BY PARENTS, FOR PARENTS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT PLAYTIME IS BETTER WITH VODKA. PLEASE TO ENJOY. READ MORE...
