When we rejoin our heroes the top 5 chefs are getting ready for their most difficult challenge to date. Everyone is being sweet and and talking about our inspirations when Eli does something that I cannot abide.
The bitch misquotes "The Princess Bride".
Sofía Vergara, 37, was on ABC's The View yesterday morning to talk about her job with the show Modern Family and ended up further entrenching my belief that The View and its guests are in need of some sensitivity training when it comes to rape. First, we had the whole rape-rape/Roman Polanski/Whoopi debacle, and now we have Vergara, our normally beautiful and ever so endearing Vergara, joking about her son being the product of her rape at 13.
The writer, obsessed with quality hour-long dramas, sits glumly on her couch. She is certain that just last week she was enjoying a sexy and socially aware period series, but it now all seems increasingly vague and far away. AMC, the benevolent network, reassures her that there is something to fill the void.
I know, you are thinking "I could have sworn Sarah just said Danny DeVito was doing a nude scene" but I must have read that wrong or possibly I am dreaming.
But no. It happened. It is true. Danny DeVito is branching out. In his mid 60's he decided to do his first nude scene.
So have you seen that episode in season two of The Flight Of The Conchords, the one with the lost epileptic dog, where Mel, the Conchords' megafan, imagines what the offspring of Bret and Jemaine - should they ever decide to couple up and procreate - would look like? And it's like a tiny little bearded and bespectacled Jebret. Or Bremaine. Or whatever you want to call it, that's not the point. It's just that it's hysterical.
It also has very little to do with the fact that Bret McKenziejust did, in real life, have a baby, but whatever. Lead-ins are lead-ins.
When I was in third grade, my idol was a spunky pigtailed orphan with mismatched shoes and a dog named Brandon the Wonder Dog.
Before we begin out weekly Top Chef recap I would like to apologize for anything you read below that doesn't make sense. I caught my daughter's cold and then I walked around in the rain and then I went to an ice hockey game so I am currently all hopped up on goofballs. Cold medicine makes me silly.
Also, I don't think "Strip Around the World" is going to mean what I think it means, but a girl can always hope.
Let's get on with the show.
So, I watched Taylor Swift host Saturday Night Live last weekend and I thought she did a pretty good job.
Of course, this is the kind of confession that's going to get me shunned by my peers, banned from certain websites and dropped by all my Twitter followers that aren't porn. (Thanks for sticking with me, '@Watch_me_ride_me_Misty.")
"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for Cancer and he just ain't spittin' it out." -shitmydadsays
Justin Halpern, creator of the wildly popular (see: over 700,000 followers) twitter feed has been given the nod by CBS. Halpern, 29 and living, as of August of aught nine, with his parents, will co-write the pilot script with CBS. This follows in the wake of a book deal with Harper Collins. Damn. The fam and I lived with my mother and her husband for over a year after the sale of our second home. I should have been writing some shit down. Live and Learn, I reckon.
America means many things to many people, but to those who know and love it best America means the world's finest TV shows about aliens. As last week's rapturously received premiere of V made clear, Americans just can't get enough of things from outer space who want to invade, share, hide in or otherwise disrupt our personal space. It's a key element of the rich tapestry of American history, right alongside muscle cars, democracy, professional wrestling and deep-fried everything. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Sterling Cooper is dead! Long live Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce!
Also, the most depressing sight last night was during the AMC promo for all of the cool stuff coming in 2010, including a new season of Mad Men. NEXT SUMMER. After I peeled myself off the floor and wiped the snot off of my face, I flailed, punching the air and cursing the cable TV gods for feeding me crack rocks in the form of quality programming and then making me go a year in between hits. JERKS.
A couple of weeks ago I was having dinner with a few parents of teenagers, and the subject came up of how to better understand our kids. We all agreed that besides reading their diaries and tapping their cell phones, it was important to try and delve a little into their world for clues - what music do they listen to? What shows are they watching? Where are they hiding the beer?
I love the new sitcom, Modern Family. ABC's great writing trumps 30 Rock by miles (of course, I may be the only person on the planet who isn't a fan of 30 Rock). The bonus to Modern Family is that it's followed by that hot mess, Cougartown, so I'm good and relaxed by then and can snooze on the couch after what I would dare to call television's best new comedy. Also? It still doesn't feature Jon Cryer.
Heidi and Spencer Pratt, aka Speidi, are one of two of the greatest traffic accidents going on reality television these days, and by "traffic accident", I mean that I love to watch The Hills just to see if Spencer is still wearing that completely ridiculous, oversized cowboy hat and if Heidi will invite the neighbour kid, Enzo, over for Spencer to throw golf balls at again.
It all just goes too far, though, when they are hybridized with reality television's other greatest traffic accident, Jon and Kate Gosselin.
MAMAPOP IS SMART POP CULTURE ANALYSIS, COMMENTARY, MERCILESS FUN-MAKING AND OTHER SUNDRY AWESOME, DISHED UP DAILY BY PARENTS, FOR PARENTS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT PLAYTIME IS BETTER WITH VODKA. PLEASE TO ENJOY. READ MORE...
