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Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 14, “Mentors”

SOUP OF SHAME

Okay. It’s going to be okay. This season is almost over. Soon, my lovelies. SOON. Two more episodes and a reunion and then we never have to speak of any of this again. Much like we were left with a Last Chance Kitchen cliffhanger last week, the four remaining chefs are also not immediately told [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 13, “Bike, Borrow & Steal”

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Greetings, fellow To…oh, I can’t even. I’m in far too much of a Comic Book Guy WORST EPISODE EVER mood. Let’s just get this over with and dream our little dreamy dreams that next week’s Last Chance Kitchen reveal will make everything all better. Quickfire Challenge The chefs arrive. There is a table covered in [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 12, “Block Party”

top-chef-texas

I apologize in advance for the potential suckiness of this recap — my three-year-old is currently on hour 16 of what I assume (hope?) is a 24-hour stomach virus. And oh. The THINGS I have SEEN, in the past 16 hours. You guys, the THINGS. At this point he still can’t even keep water down [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 11, “Fit For An Evil Queen”

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HELL YEAH TOP CHEF. Not to be all “THIS! THIS!” about this episode, but…THIS! THIIIIIS! NO team challenges. NO torturously physical challenges based around sleep deprivation or heat or crappy equipment. NO Texas Texas Texas Have We Mentioned We’re In Texas Visit Texas. NO bizarre editing disconnect between tasting and judging. Just a damn fine [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 9, “BBQ Pit Wars”

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Welcome back, Chefwatchers. After a brief, blessed holiday respite, we are back with a new episode. And get to re-learn everybody’s name all over again. Last time, we said goodbye to Heather the Beverly Bully, and we open this week with everybody crowded around a way-too-small dining table discussing her ouster. Seriously, there are way [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 8, “Tribute Dinner”

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DISCLAIMER: Last night was the season finale of American Horror Story, which also airs at 10 pm. Since that show is just bonkers, Donkey-Kong-level BANANAS, there was no way I was gonna miss it. Or even wait an additional minute to watch. So I watched that first and then attempted to watch Top Chef afterwards, [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 7, “Game On”

But she's clearly so happy to be here!

We have officially reached the point in the season where Top Chef becomes less of a cooking competition and more of a  fresh, modern take on the Stanford Prison Experiment. The food was downright secondary this week because it was all about watching Heather translate stress into full-bore bullying villainy, with her slightly unhingey-obsession with [...]