Top Chef Texas Not-Really-A-Recap: Episode 18, “Reunion”

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It’s over! It’s really truly and finally over, in the most overest sense of the word. Happy dance! And it only took 18 hours of our lives to get here. Anyway! So how’s about that reunion? That sure was something. I mean, I assume. I turned it on and everything last night, but then I [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 17, “Finale”

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  So! That’s over, then. Moving on. No? Not yet? You’re really still expecting me to recap this thing? FINE. BUT FIRST I HAVE TO EAT SOME CADBURY CREME EGGS. *eats some Cadbury Creme Eggs* Okay, let’s get this over with. Paul and Sarah get the details on their final challenge, which is all that [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 16, “Fire & Ice”

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OH MY GOD. IT’S STILL NOT OVER YET. THIS SEASON WILL NEVER END. ABANDON ALL HOPE. WEEP SOUPY TEARS OF SOUP. Every season of Top Chef, this happens. I think the finale — the final finale-finale — is a good one or two episodes sooner than it actually is. They start making such a big [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 15, “Culinary Games”

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So. Yeah. *shoves fingers in mouth, bites down, stifles frustrated YAWWWRRRRPP so not to wake the baby from his nap* We get it, Top Chef. While planning this season, you read The Hunger Games and caught up on a bunch of seasons of Survivor. Then you listened to Adele a lot and the album made [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 14, “Mentors”

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Okay. It’s going to be okay. This season is almost over. Soon, my lovelies. SOON. Two more episodes and a reunion and then we never have to speak of any of this again. Much like we were left with a Last Chance Kitchen cliffhanger last week, the four remaining chefs are also not immediately told [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 13, “Bike, Borrow & Steal”

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Greetings, fellow To…oh, I can’t even. I’m in far too much of a Comic Book Guy WORST EPISODE EVER mood. Let’s just get this over with and dream our little dreamy dreams that next week’s Last Chance Kitchen reveal will make everything all better. Quickfire Challenge The chefs arrive. There is a table covered in [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 12, “Block Party”

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I apologize in advance for the potential suckiness of this recap — my three-year-old is currently on hour 16 of what I assume (hope?) is a 24-hour stomach virus. And oh. The THINGS I have SEEN, in the past 16 hours. You guys, the THINGS. At this point he still can’t even keep water down [...]