Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 11, “Fit For An Evil Queen”

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HELL YEAH TOP CHEF. Not to be all “THIS! THIS!” about this episode, but…THIS! THIIIIIS! NO team challenges. NO torturously physical challenges based around sleep deprivation or heat or crappy equipment. NO Texas Texas Texas Have We Mentioned We’re In Texas Visit Texas. NO bizarre editing disconnect between tasting and judging. Just a damn fine [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 10, “Restaurant Wars”

Pictured: Grayson bravely throwing her body between Lindsay and Beverly in order to avoid a throwdown over some five-spice powder.

Hello my little pâte à chouxs! Welcome to the Top Chef As Brought To You By The Texas Board Of Tourism Restaurant Wars Spectacular! Although with the number of team-based serve-several-hundred-people challenges we’ve already sat through this  season, I can’t help but feel like Restaurant Wars lost a little of its thunder. But hey! AT LEAST IT GAVE [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 9, “BBQ Pit Wars”

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Welcome back, Chefwatchers. After a brief, blessed holiday respite, we are back with a new episode. And get to re-learn everybody’s name all over again. Last time, we said goodbye to Heather the Beverly Bully, and we open this week with everybody crowded around a way-too-small dining table discussing her ouster. Seriously, there are way [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 8, “Tribute Dinner”

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DISCLAIMER: Last night was the season finale of American Horror Story, which also airs at 10 pm. Since that show is just bonkers, Donkey-Kong-level BANANAS, there was no way I was gonna miss it. Or even wait an additional minute to watch. So I watched that first and then attempted to watch Top Chef afterwards, [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 7, “Game On”

But she's clearly so happy to be here!

We have officially reached the point in the season where Top Chef becomes less of a cooking competition and more of a  fresh, modern take on the Stanford Prison Experiment. The food was downright secondary this week because it was all about watching Heather translate stress into full-bore bullying villainy, with her slightly unhingey-obsession with [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 6, “Higher Steaks”

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Hot ham, this was a boring episode. In an increasingly boring season. I think? Right? Sometimes I can’t even tell anymore, to be honest. But I do have one seriously exciting development to report, and it’s that the magical all-knowing Wikipedia monkeys have gone and added the Last Chance Kitchen nonsense to the season 9 [...]

Top Chef Texas Recap: Episode 5 “Don’t Be Tardy To The Dinner Party”

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Greetings, fellow people-who-may-or-may-not-be-mildly-interested-in-this-season-of-Top-Chef! Does anyone know who is responsible for the episode titles? Because…”Don’t Be Tardy To The Dinner Party”? Really? I feel compelled to add a second set of quotation marks to my recap title, just so no one thinks that I came up with that, and am typing it only because we have [...]