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Hello my little pâte à chouxs! Welcome to the Top Chef As Brought To You By The Texas Board Of Tourism Restaurant Wars Spectacular! Although with the number of team-based serve-several-hundred-people challenges we’ve already sat through this season, I can’t help but feel like Restaurant Wars lost a little of its thunder. But hey! AT LEAST IT GAVE [...]
Oh my. This was one doozy of a finale. Lafayette is now possessed by Marnie and I’m struggling with how to address him. Marfayette? Lamarnette? I think I like the way Marfayette rolls off the tongue. Anyway, Marfayette and Jesus are having a lovely breakfast on the porch. Jesus is gently babbling about how their [...]
Eric, Pam, Jessica and Bill are approaching the Moon Goddess. Jessica is all aggro, sick of silvering herself everyday and being irritated, comparing it to PMS. Pam is also ready to get going on the massacre as she has a mani-pedi at 4. Marnie announces to the coven that vampires are outside with automatic weapons [...]
The massacre at the Festival of Tolerance/PR Nightmare is still going strong, with Nan thinking quickly and knocking over any nearby cameras. Marnie is controlling Eric as he moves in to kill Bill. Bill fires a couple silver bullets, which doesn’t seem to deter Eric at all. Sookie tries to step in between them, but [...]
Alcide is running with Sookie in his arms toward her house, but Bill zooms up and grabs her from him. He takes her inside, lays her down on the couch, and urges her to drink his blood. “I never should’ve let you come tonight,” he says. Alcide appears in the doorway and asks why Bill [...]
I’m so sorry for the -ish-ness of this recap again this week. You deserve better. You deserve someone who isn’t fucking dead, as Hoyt would say. Alas, I am writing to you from the Cemetery of Parents Who Have Returned from Vacation via a 12-Hour Drive. I lost the will to live somewhere around 10 [...]
Friends! I am on vacation with spotty internet access! So forgive me for a) being near the beach and b) flubbing this recap. So! Marnie’s Spanish Inquisition Possession and Shawshank Redemption Clever Prison Break went well? I mean, for Marnie/Antonia, anyway. But Luis strangled Kat and then staked himself and Bill got shot. Things sort [...]
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