Just What We Didn’t Need: Sony To Release ‘Angry Birds’ Movie in 2016


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Some works of art have long been thought to be unfilmable. Marcel Proust’s In Search Of Lost Time. David Foster Wallace‘s Infinite Jest. James Joyce’s Ulysses. Pac-Man. But that hasn’t stopped Hollywood from trying, and occasionally it’s led to some fairly decent results: Michael Ondaatje’s difficult, non-linear novel The English Patient was pretty good, John [...]

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne Splitting?


ozzysharon

Let’s get this out of the way right now: I cannot deal with a Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne divorce, and this is all about me. Just to give you an idea of how much I can’t deal, it just occurred to me yesterday in passing how sad it was that Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz [...]

FOX Set To Take Trainwreck Television To New Lows With ‘Celebrity Swan’


theswan

FOX, the network you may remember from such fine upstanding reality television shows as Temptation Island, Joe Millionaire, The Simple Life, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, Married By America, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, Mr. Personality and The Littlest Groom, has decided to renew and reboot 2004′s The Swan . This time, with…celebrities! Celebrity Swan! Because of course. And also bleeeeccccchhhh. More »

Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos And Other Options For Your EXTREEEEEME Valentine’s Day Dinner


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Like most holidays, there’s a strong focus on food on Valentine’s Day. And this being America/’Murrica, we like to take something simple like celebratory sustenance and utterly pervert it. Here are some recent, newsworthy foodstuffs that you and your Valentine can consider putting in your faceholes today (U-S-A! U-S-A!). More »

Manparel Gone Mad: Men In Mights, Meggings & Mantyhose


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Laaaaadies! Does yo’ man wear mandals? Meggings? Manpris? Manties? Does he carry a manpurse…or perhaps saves himself valuable nano-seconds (mano-seconds?) by simply calling it a “murse”?

If so, please to be telling him to knock that shit off. More »