The Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 9: Who Needs A Fantasy Suite When You’re A Born Again Virgin?


Ladies. You? Have lucked out. Thank your lucky stars.

It’s my favorite night, that being FANTASY SUITE night, which usually means sex galore, but with the Snooze they’ll probably end up cuddling under a Slanket and reading the Bible. God, I hate this show. Where’s Harrison? is he already getting sloshed at craft services? I NEED YOU, HARRISON, put down the cruller and the martini and hold me. More »

The Bachelor Recap Season 17 – Sean Lowe Tells All


Diseases galore!!!!

Do we really have to do this? Apparently we do. Sean Lowe, our most beloved Snoozer, is ready to TELL ALL. Whatever, we’re going to talk about Tierra and that really is the only thing that matters. Don’t fret, it’s only one hour. More »

The Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 7: Sister Knows Best


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Welcome back to The Bachelor! Last week we all barely survived two back to back episodes, and Tierra “barely survived” a polar bear plunge, which wasn’t a stunt at ALL Y’ALL, she was totally sincerely a little chilly. Anyway, we’re out of the wilds of Canada and on to the beaches of St.Croix, where I’m sure everyone will play nice and decorum will rule. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Let’s get started! More »

The Bachelor Recap Season 17 Episode 6: The Snooze And The Skeezes Go To Canada


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The Bachelor is back again this week whether we want it to or not. Last night, Sean Lowe (The Snooze) and the skanks toddled off to Canada, The Snooze ditched someone before the rose ceremony, and Tierra got carted off to the hospital (drink!), only to come back cackling and more evil than ever. More »

‘The Bachelor’ Recap Season 17 Epidode 5: The Snooze & The Skeezes Go To Montana, Part I


Diseases galore!!!!

Welcome to The Bachelor! If you haven’t heard already, last night’s episode was Part I of a two-night-long crapfest of Sean Lowe (The Snooze) looking the fool and the skeezes acting the fool in Montana, so that means FOUR HOURS of The Bachelor this week. Lawd help me. So let’s get started, so maybe I can sleep again by Wednesday night. Join me, won’t you? More »